In the past six weeks I have not:
Driven a car
Cooked a meal in a kitchen
Eaten at "normal" fast food
Lived by myself
Had the freedom to do whatever I want when I want
Seen my cats
Seen my family or friends
In the past six weeks I have:
Ridden BART
Ridden Muni
"Cooked" Ramen Noodles in the microwave
Eaten at over 7 different ethnic restaurants
Experienced different foods and cultures
Seen the joy of people on the streets with their pets (dogs mostly)
Had roommates
Made new friends and family
Been stretched and pushed outside my comfort zone
Talked to homeless
Fed the needy
Met Jesus- several times
Saw God at work in the city of San Francisco in the lives of people, ministries, and myself
The list of thing that I have experienced over the past six weeks far outweighs the things I have not. As much as I missed my family and friends (and cats), missed driving, missed having a sense of personal space, missed being able to pick up and go wherever whenever... I can't imagine all the things I would have missed if I would have allowed this opportunity to pass me by. I would have missed meeting people like "Scottage Cheese" and Michael. I wouldn't have had the pleasure and honor of living with and getting to know my two (three) amazing roommates. I wouldn't have been given the opportunity to reach out to the many people and organizations that I was able to work with. I made some great and amazing friends over the course of my six week sojourn in San Francisco and the bay area. Words can't express how much I love and enjoyed working with everyone: Amanda, Rabekka, Stephanie, Tara, Andy, Heidi. And a shoutout to my boys in the warehouse of San Fran Food Bank!!! =)
You all served a great and amazing role in my experiences with CSM and I will never forget late nite sing-a-longs to Miley Cyrus (or some other Disney phenomenon), trips to Chinatown, prank texts, getting lost in SF, making nice and cuddling under a blanket with Lucy while watching Finding Nemo, and heartfelt words of encouragement from my new family. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives and for taking part in mine.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
A Divine Appointment At McDonald's
So, this blog is coming a couple of days too late, but it's been a super long week, and this is my first moment of some solitude to be able to put these thoughts down... so here you go:
On Wednesday my group did Meet A Need on Haight Street. Normally this is an activity that I do not participate in, so per usual I just roamed around trying to kill some time. About an hour into our 2.5 hour activity, two of the guys who were in their own group came up to me on the street and told me that they were done. They had met someone, talked to him for about an hour, and met his need of a meal, and spent all but 14 cents of their money. So, we were just hanging out at the corner of Haight and Stanyan on a bench across from a McDonald's. after sitting there for about a half an hour, I told them that we were going to McDonald's. Truth is, I don't know why (well, now I do) and I don't even like McDonald's, but I didn't want to sit out on the street anymore, and I figured we could do something productive in there anyway. So, we found a table, and the three of us were just sitting, chatting... me asking questions, them answering; when all of a sudden...
A man came up to our table asking for some money to buy food. Now here is where I slipped up a little... first of all, one of our rules to the students during orientation is "DON'T GIVE MONEY TO PEOPLE!!!!!" If they seem in need direct them to an organization or help them in some other way, but under no circumstances do you give them money... BAM- Fail... I pulled two dollars out of my pocket and handed it to him. What's worse and sort of embarrassing about this is that I did exactly what we encourage people not to do- throw money and people and run. BAM- Fail... that's exactly what I did... gave him the money and let him be on his way. Didn't get his name, didn't get his story, didn't find out more about what he really needed, just gave him the money and let him walk away. I should of felt good, I mean, I gave the guy money, helped him out, whatever... but what a HORRIBLE example I was to these two students I was trying to minister to.
During the course of my conversation with the students, after the exchange between the gentleman and myself, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that he was sitting at the table a little ways away from us eating some food. Now I'll be honest, I'm ashamed to say that I was kind of relieved that he used the money I gave him to buy food and not drugs or alcohol or something like that... And what's that about!?!?!?!? At what point in my life did I become so cynical about people in need? I've spent the past six weeks working on the streets, with ministry organizations that give people the benefit of the doubt... I mean, good grief! Isn't that what Jesus did? He challenged them and their thinking, yes, but never once did he come to condemn them... ugh... anyway... (The story gets better, I promise)
After I notice that this gentleman is sitting so close to us, and since there was a lull in the conversation I get up and go sit at the table with the gentleman and just start talking to him. I asked him how he was doing, and he said that he was still a little hungry, but otherwise okay. So, I got up, went to the counter, and bought him two more hamburgers and a bottle of water. I also found out that he's diabetic, because I asked him if he liked cookies and he told me he couldn't have them. (It's amazing what a conversation with someone will teach you...) So, I got the food, brought it back to the table, and while he ate, we talked. His name is Michael. He was born and raised in West Oakland, but has lived all over the country. He is currently in a 12 step program, been sober for a little while now (gave him a high five for that one). He's 54, never been married, no kids, has cousins and friends living in the Haight-Ashbury District, but he hasn't seen them in about 15-20 years. Was excited to hear that I was from Indiana, apparently the whole Jackson family is from there... (didn't know that!). As he ate, I could sense that conversation is what he longed for. At what point do we reach a sense of humility that we are willing to ask people for help?
We do another activity where students are given two dollars each and told to go find food for lunch for themselves and one other person. The students are in groups of 4-5 so they will pool their money, buy stuff for sandwiches and do lunch that way because it's the most cost effective and will feed the whole group and then some. But I've heard story after story about them coming up just short of what they wanted to buy, but instead of having to put something back, or make a different choice, they are shown grace by the people at the markets and they let them have it anyway. And every response has been that it's so humbling to know that you have the money but don't have access to it, so you have to accept charity from someone. Do you know what charity means? "generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless" every definition I come across implies need of some sort. And to admit that you are in need of something, be it money, housing, food, clothing, help paying bills, a hug, a friend, whatever is a hugely humbling experience. So most of us don't do it. I admire those who can, but I know that for me, to get to a place where I ask for help is a very low place for me. But the truth is, I do need help. I can't live life on my own, and heaven knows I don't want to... anyway...
My story ends with two other students from my group coming and joining my conversation with Michael. We closed our time together and I asked him if there was anything I could pray for him about. He asked that we pray for high spirits for him. Wow... what a request. High spirits. I love it! So we did... before we left the table I asked him if there was anything else he needed. He said he didn't have enough money to get home. I asked him how much bus fare or a BART ticket would be and he said about 3-4 bucks. So I pulled out my "change sock" and gave him all the change I had (way to go, Mandie... broke the rules again). But if I've learned anything from Jesus, it's that "rules" never got in the way of loving his neighbor, or enemy, or friend, he just did it, whatever means necessary. I learned humility from a man named Michael, and a savior named Jesus... and it was the greatest moment from my California Adventure.
On Wednesday my group did Meet A Need on Haight Street. Normally this is an activity that I do not participate in, so per usual I just roamed around trying to kill some time. About an hour into our 2.5 hour activity, two of the guys who were in their own group came up to me on the street and told me that they were done. They had met someone, talked to him for about an hour, and met his need of a meal, and spent all but 14 cents of their money. So, we were just hanging out at the corner of Haight and Stanyan on a bench across from a McDonald's. after sitting there for about a half an hour, I told them that we were going to McDonald's. Truth is, I don't know why (well, now I do) and I don't even like McDonald's, but I didn't want to sit out on the street anymore, and I figured we could do something productive in there anyway. So, we found a table, and the three of us were just sitting, chatting... me asking questions, them answering; when all of a sudden...
A man came up to our table asking for some money to buy food. Now here is where I slipped up a little... first of all, one of our rules to the students during orientation is "DON'T GIVE MONEY TO PEOPLE!!!!!" If they seem in need direct them to an organization or help them in some other way, but under no circumstances do you give them money... BAM- Fail... I pulled two dollars out of my pocket and handed it to him. What's worse and sort of embarrassing about this is that I did exactly what we encourage people not to do- throw money and people and run. BAM- Fail... that's exactly what I did... gave him the money and let him be on his way. Didn't get his name, didn't get his story, didn't find out more about what he really needed, just gave him the money and let him walk away. I should of felt good, I mean, I gave the guy money, helped him out, whatever... but what a HORRIBLE example I was to these two students I was trying to minister to.
During the course of my conversation with the students, after the exchange between the gentleman and myself, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that he was sitting at the table a little ways away from us eating some food. Now I'll be honest, I'm ashamed to say that I was kind of relieved that he used the money I gave him to buy food and not drugs or alcohol or something like that... And what's that about!?!?!?!? At what point in my life did I become so cynical about people in need? I've spent the past six weeks working on the streets, with ministry organizations that give people the benefit of the doubt... I mean, good grief! Isn't that what Jesus did? He challenged them and their thinking, yes, but never once did he come to condemn them... ugh... anyway... (The story gets better, I promise)
After I notice that this gentleman is sitting so close to us, and since there was a lull in the conversation I get up and go sit at the table with the gentleman and just start talking to him. I asked him how he was doing, and he said that he was still a little hungry, but otherwise okay. So, I got up, went to the counter, and bought him two more hamburgers and a bottle of water. I also found out that he's diabetic, because I asked him if he liked cookies and he told me he couldn't have them. (It's amazing what a conversation with someone will teach you...) So, I got the food, brought it back to the table, and while he ate, we talked. His name is Michael. He was born and raised in West Oakland, but has lived all over the country. He is currently in a 12 step program, been sober for a little while now (gave him a high five for that one). He's 54, never been married, no kids, has cousins and friends living in the Haight-Ashbury District, but he hasn't seen them in about 15-20 years. Was excited to hear that I was from Indiana, apparently the whole Jackson family is from there... (didn't know that!). As he ate, I could sense that conversation is what he longed for. At what point do we reach a sense of humility that we are willing to ask people for help?
We do another activity where students are given two dollars each and told to go find food for lunch for themselves and one other person. The students are in groups of 4-5 so they will pool their money, buy stuff for sandwiches and do lunch that way because it's the most cost effective and will feed the whole group and then some. But I've heard story after story about them coming up just short of what they wanted to buy, but instead of having to put something back, or make a different choice, they are shown grace by the people at the markets and they let them have it anyway. And every response has been that it's so humbling to know that you have the money but don't have access to it, so you have to accept charity from someone. Do you know what charity means? "generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless" every definition I come across implies need of some sort. And to admit that you are in need of something, be it money, housing, food, clothing, help paying bills, a hug, a friend, whatever is a hugely humbling experience. So most of us don't do it. I admire those who can, but I know that for me, to get to a place where I ask for help is a very low place for me. But the truth is, I do need help. I can't live life on my own, and heaven knows I don't want to... anyway...
My story ends with two other students from my group coming and joining my conversation with Michael. We closed our time together and I asked him if there was anything I could pray for him about. He asked that we pray for high spirits for him. Wow... what a request. High spirits. I love it! So we did... before we left the table I asked him if there was anything else he needed. He said he didn't have enough money to get home. I asked him how much bus fare or a BART ticket would be and he said about 3-4 bucks. So I pulled out my "change sock" and gave him all the change I had (way to go, Mandie... broke the rules again). But if I've learned anything from Jesus, it's that "rules" never got in the way of loving his neighbor, or enemy, or friend, he just did it, whatever means necessary. I learned humility from a man named Michael, and a savior named Jesus... and it was the greatest moment from my California Adventure.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
New Day, New Things
Today was a day of new experiences... for starters we welcomed a new group yesterday so today was our first day of being together at ministry sites and working. This also brought about a new experience because this was my first time to visit the particular site we worked with. We went to the Salvation Army Service Center in the morning, and this was in and of itself an interesting experience. We started our time there in two separate groups: I was with the group that was sorting clothing, and the other half of the group sorted through boxes of toys. The ironic thing about the way the volunteer coordinator split up the group was that he put two guys and a girl in the group sorting toys, and me, the other girl, one guy and the male leader in charge of sorting the clothing. Did I mention we were sorting women's clothing? Yeah... that made it particularly interesting. We basically took huge bins of women's clothing and sorted it into sizes. Now many of these were items that the tags had been ripped out of, so they were without the official sizes in them. For us girls, this wasn't a huge problem, we just eyeballed it, and determined size and put them in their respective locations... for the guys however this was nothing short of hilarious. We finally determined that the best way to help them figure out sizes was to put it into a perspective they could understand. If it would fit him, it was a large... if it would fit his brother, it was a small... anything in between was a medium. This escapade got even more humorous considering that 85% of the clothes he pulled out of the bin he was working on was a tube top, or some form of strapless dress... oh yeah... it was great! and hilarious!
Once we completed our time in this area, we took a break, then resumed working with new positions. We took bottles of lotion, like the trial size ones found in hotel rooms, and combined them to make sure the bottles are full. We would then clean off the outside to make sure they looked brand new, then we put them in a bin that would later be sorted and combined for hygiene kits for distribution at a later time. It was tedious and at moments frustrating (like when a broken bottle disintegrated and exploded all over me), but in the end it was great to know that we were doing work that would eventually help people in the end. Big picture projects and ministry sites are cool because it's nice to know that despite the fact that we don't (and probably never will) see the people this is impacting, we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves... and isn't that kind of the point?
This afternoon was bittersweet as we went to the Bay Area Rescue Mission and played with kids... I was able to spend some time playing with my little friend Elisha and also spent some time reading Berenstain Bear Books... should I be embarrassed to say that I was reading those by myself, and not with a little buddy?! OH well... anyway... it was bittersweet in the sense that I realized this will be the last time I'll be physically hanging out with those kids, playing pool with them, joking with them, or anything like that. And as excited as I am to see my family, my cats, my friends, etc... It's sad to know that my California Adventure has almost come to an end.
Once we completed our time in this area, we took a break, then resumed working with new positions. We took bottles of lotion, like the trial size ones found in hotel rooms, and combined them to make sure the bottles are full. We would then clean off the outside to make sure they looked brand new, then we put them in a bin that would later be sorted and combined for hygiene kits for distribution at a later time. It was tedious and at moments frustrating (like when a broken bottle disintegrated and exploded all over me), but in the end it was great to know that we were doing work that would eventually help people in the end. Big picture projects and ministry sites are cool because it's nice to know that despite the fact that we don't (and probably never will) see the people this is impacting, we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves... and isn't that kind of the point?
This afternoon was bittersweet as we went to the Bay Area Rescue Mission and played with kids... I was able to spend some time playing with my little friend Elisha and also spent some time reading Berenstain Bear Books... should I be embarrassed to say that I was reading those by myself, and not with a little buddy?! OH well... anyway... it was bittersweet in the sense that I realized this will be the last time I'll be physically hanging out with those kids, playing pool with them, joking with them, or anything like that. And as excited as I am to see my family, my cats, my friends, etc... It's sad to know that my California Adventure has almost come to an end.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Blah, Blah, Blog
So, it's been a few days since my last blog, with good reason. There's very little to blog about presently. I had Saturday off, so I went on an adventure around Oakland... actually I left my cell phone charger at our other housing site (Harbor House), so I needed to walk over there and get it. So, one of my roommates and I decided to make an epic adventure of it. We left the house around 2:30 PM and didn't arrive back home until almost 9:00 PM. Harbor House is 2.1 miles away from BACC, and then we also decided it would be super fun to walk around Lake Merritt... so we did. ALL THE WAY AROUND: 3 miles, to be exact. So, during the course of a day, we walked about 6-7 miles... but it was a lot of fun. I learned how to play cribbage, roommate and I rented a couple of movies (gotta love Redbox!) and I had an awesome day taking pictures and enjoying God's beautiful nature, smack dab in the middle of Oakland, CA.
Today, I am waiting in eager anticipation of my next, and final group. It's kind of bittersweet. I'm stoked to go home and see my cats, my family, my friends... but I'm also sad to leave this life, San Francisco, Oakland, my new friends, behind. One question I asked last week, and a question that I like asking people because it's hard, is: If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be? Right now my answer would be "searching". I'm in the midst of an awesome and terrifying time of my life. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, or where I'm supposed to be doing it... I don't know what my ministry for the kingdom is supposed to look like... but I do know this: right now, for the moment: I'm right where I'm supposed to be. And that's how I like it. It's nice to know that amidst the uncertainty of life, one this is certain: my God is in control, and little by little He's revealing little things about Himself, and myself to me. It's like one of those pictures in a picture, where the little individual pictures make up a bigger picture of Mickey Mouse or something like that. Right now I'm seeing bits and pieces of the smaller pictures, but I don't know what the bigger picture is yet... but that's okay. I'm learning. And I'm terribly grateful to a God who is insanely patient with me through it all.
Today, I am waiting in eager anticipation of my next, and final group. It's kind of bittersweet. I'm stoked to go home and see my cats, my family, my friends... but I'm also sad to leave this life, San Francisco, Oakland, my new friends, behind. One question I asked last week, and a question that I like asking people because it's hard, is: If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be? Right now my answer would be "searching". I'm in the midst of an awesome and terrifying time of my life. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, or where I'm supposed to be doing it... I don't know what my ministry for the kingdom is supposed to look like... but I do know this: right now, for the moment: I'm right where I'm supposed to be. And that's how I like it. It's nice to know that amidst the uncertainty of life, one this is certain: my God is in control, and little by little He's revealing little things about Himself, and myself to me. It's like one of those pictures in a picture, where the little individual pictures make up a bigger picture of Mickey Mouse or something like that. Right now I'm seeing bits and pieces of the smaller pictures, but I don't know what the bigger picture is yet... but that's okay. I'm learning. And I'm terribly grateful to a God who is insanely patient with me through it all.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Long Time No See...
Sorry it's been so long since my last blog. I was staying at our other housing site, Harbor House and had little/no internet access and to be honest, I was a little depressed last week so I tried to soak up every bit of sleep I could sink my teeth into. Now before anyone who may or may not read this will or will not get offended I want to make it perfectly clear that I absolutely loved the group I just served with. We parted ways this afternoon after spending some off time in the city of San Fran, hanging out and eating lunch. In a lot of ways this was one of the hardest groups to say goodbye to. I've made some really great bonds with people over the last few weeks and I've seen different changes in each group, but this group was very different. Not only did I see life change in the students (and adults) that I worked with this week, but I was able to look inside myself and see some things too.
One thing to understand about this job, and maybe that I sort of just realized is that it's not about me. Growing up an only child and being me I've found this a hard realization. Not that I was parading around in front of my groups like it was all about me, but it really didn't sink in until this week. My job is to slip in unnoticed. My job is to make sure things are running so smoothly that I just kind of fade into the background- and I'm kind of okay with that. Being able to step back, observe and later hear stories about the happenings around the city and the decisions being made by high school students on how they choose to change the world they've been thrown into for a week is amazing. But I also came to the realization that by not having an outlet to pour my thoughts and observations into has caused me to have a bit of a breakdown. Not a huge one, but enough of one that had it continued on much longer I wouldn't have been able to finish out my week.
I've had a lot personally going on this week. I'm coming into the last stretch of the game, and it's almost over, but I've still got one more week left and this in and of itself brings about some excitement, sadness, and frustration. It's almost as if I'm just starting to get the swing of things and now it's over... and here's what I think: That's a good thing. I've lived my life comfortably for so long that as much as it pains me, I'm stoked for the change and uncomfortableness that the next few weeks/months/year will bring me. I still have a ton of unanswered questions about what life is going to look like past April 23rd. I also have some unanswered questions about what life is going to look like this summer, and even the fall. And while that terrifies me, it excites me too.
I learned something else about myself this week. See, I was co-hosting with my awesome boss, Andy (are you reading this...) and what this meant was I lived "alone" for a week. Because Andy came in the mornings, grabbed his group, did their thing, met up with my half of the group for dinner, and then he went home to sleep in his own bed. I went "home" to my little room void of anyone but me, myself, and I. Which is awesome and awful all at once. I've been on my own for so long that I forgot what community was like. Yes, I had my group and got to hang out with them everyday and at night, but at the end of it all I had no one. I've become accustomed to coming home to one or two girls that I can kind of debrief my night with, but this week I didn't have that. I didn't even have computer access to debrief my thoughts with the few of you that may read this. I was alone to wallow in the dark and my own thoughts, and that's kind of a scary place. I'm continuing to understand why God felt like it wasn't good for man to be alone. We're meant for relationships and while I had those to some extent this week, I lacked them in other ways. So I gained greater appreciation this week about my personal need and desire for community in my life. So thank you to those of my friends who help force community on me, because sometimes I can get so caught up in my hermetic lifestyle that I completely forget how much I need and desire you to be there.
So here's what I learned about God this week: He's awesome (given). And although I knew this, and have known it for quite sometime He felt the need to remind me; and for that I'm very grateful. He reminded me that He's always there, and always listening. I had some amazing God moments this week and I'd like to share them with you. I'm grateful for a God who is big enough to love and care for the whole world, and yet small enough to answer even the "tiniest" prayers. I was out with my group this week in Little Italy and we were meeting the other half of our group to go get gelato. The other half of the group had already arrived and were headed into the "gelato parlor" to order and get seats, while we were still circling block after block looking for a parking spot. We happened to drive by the group while they were at a crosswalk and we asked where they parked and they said they paid to park in a lot. We really hated to pay even more money to park in a lot for the limited amount of time we'd be in the store getting gelato so we decided to give it more time and circled around some more- but there was nothing. At this point we decide to drop the students and other leader off to go in and order and I would stay with the driver to give it another shot. The driver just said a quick prayer aloud, "God, please help us to find a parking spot soon". We no more than turned down the next street and a group of people was getting into their vehicle to pull out and leave. What's even more, we were in a 15 passenger van, with "dulies" and the spot was plenty big for us. It was only a couple of blocks away and we were able to get in before the rest of our group had even ordered. God thing!
Another way God showed me that He's here and listening is regarding a personal thing. I was looking for some temporary employment between my spring internship with CSM and my summer internship with EM. At the time, when I left my old job things were somewhat promising, but after some email and phone conversations with them things were looking less and less promising. So I sent a message to a bunch of my prayer warriors and friends asking for their prayers as I really needed this to come through and work out to help save money and take care of expenses before embarking on my summer adventure and no more than a couple of hours after I sent out that message I got an email from my old work saying "definitely plan on coming back to work on April 19th"!!!!! As if my California adventure wasn't enough proof that God is alive and well and listening to and answering prayer He felt like I needed to be reminded. And I did.
Thank you so much to everyone out there who is praying for me and loving on me and supporting me in every way you are. Truth is, I would have had a far worse breakdown much sooner if you weren't always there for me. I know this blog had very little information regarding what activities we did, etc, etc... but this is what was on my heart today so I wanted to share it with you.
One thing to understand about this job, and maybe that I sort of just realized is that it's not about me. Growing up an only child and being me I've found this a hard realization. Not that I was parading around in front of my groups like it was all about me, but it really didn't sink in until this week. My job is to slip in unnoticed. My job is to make sure things are running so smoothly that I just kind of fade into the background- and I'm kind of okay with that. Being able to step back, observe and later hear stories about the happenings around the city and the decisions being made by high school students on how they choose to change the world they've been thrown into for a week is amazing. But I also came to the realization that by not having an outlet to pour my thoughts and observations into has caused me to have a bit of a breakdown. Not a huge one, but enough of one that had it continued on much longer I wouldn't have been able to finish out my week.
I've had a lot personally going on this week. I'm coming into the last stretch of the game, and it's almost over, but I've still got one more week left and this in and of itself brings about some excitement, sadness, and frustration. It's almost as if I'm just starting to get the swing of things and now it's over... and here's what I think: That's a good thing. I've lived my life comfortably for so long that as much as it pains me, I'm stoked for the change and uncomfortableness that the next few weeks/months/year will bring me. I still have a ton of unanswered questions about what life is going to look like past April 23rd. I also have some unanswered questions about what life is going to look like this summer, and even the fall. And while that terrifies me, it excites me too.
I learned something else about myself this week. See, I was co-hosting with my awesome boss, Andy (are you reading this...) and what this meant was I lived "alone" for a week. Because Andy came in the mornings, grabbed his group, did their thing, met up with my half of the group for dinner, and then he went home to sleep in his own bed. I went "home" to my little room void of anyone but me, myself, and I. Which is awesome and awful all at once. I've been on my own for so long that I forgot what community was like. Yes, I had my group and got to hang out with them everyday and at night, but at the end of it all I had no one. I've become accustomed to coming home to one or two girls that I can kind of debrief my night with, but this week I didn't have that. I didn't even have computer access to debrief my thoughts with the few of you that may read this. I was alone to wallow in the dark and my own thoughts, and that's kind of a scary place. I'm continuing to understand why God felt like it wasn't good for man to be alone. We're meant for relationships and while I had those to some extent this week, I lacked them in other ways. So I gained greater appreciation this week about my personal need and desire for community in my life. So thank you to those of my friends who help force community on me, because sometimes I can get so caught up in my hermetic lifestyle that I completely forget how much I need and desire you to be there.
So here's what I learned about God this week: He's awesome (given). And although I knew this, and have known it for quite sometime He felt the need to remind me; and for that I'm very grateful. He reminded me that He's always there, and always listening. I had some amazing God moments this week and I'd like to share them with you. I'm grateful for a God who is big enough to love and care for the whole world, and yet small enough to answer even the "tiniest" prayers. I was out with my group this week in Little Italy and we were meeting the other half of our group to go get gelato. The other half of the group had already arrived and were headed into the "gelato parlor" to order and get seats, while we were still circling block after block looking for a parking spot. We happened to drive by the group while they were at a crosswalk and we asked where they parked and they said they paid to park in a lot. We really hated to pay even more money to park in a lot for the limited amount of time we'd be in the store getting gelato so we decided to give it more time and circled around some more- but there was nothing. At this point we decide to drop the students and other leader off to go in and order and I would stay with the driver to give it another shot. The driver just said a quick prayer aloud, "God, please help us to find a parking spot soon". We no more than turned down the next street and a group of people was getting into their vehicle to pull out and leave. What's even more, we were in a 15 passenger van, with "dulies" and the spot was plenty big for us. It was only a couple of blocks away and we were able to get in before the rest of our group had even ordered. God thing!
Another way God showed me that He's here and listening is regarding a personal thing. I was looking for some temporary employment between my spring internship with CSM and my summer internship with EM. At the time, when I left my old job things were somewhat promising, but after some email and phone conversations with them things were looking less and less promising. So I sent a message to a bunch of my prayer warriors and friends asking for their prayers as I really needed this to come through and work out to help save money and take care of expenses before embarking on my summer adventure and no more than a couple of hours after I sent out that message I got an email from my old work saying "definitely plan on coming back to work on April 19th"!!!!! As if my California adventure wasn't enough proof that God is alive and well and listening to and answering prayer He felt like I needed to be reminded. And I did.
Thank you so much to everyone out there who is praying for me and loving on me and supporting me in every way you are. Truth is, I would have had a far worse breakdown much sooner if you weren't always there for me. I know this blog had very little information regarding what activities we did, etc, etc... but this is what was on my heart today so I wanted to share it with you.
Monday, April 5, 2010
So, here's the thing...
This week has brought about many things... a new group arrived yesterday, we greeted them with open arms at Harbor House- that's correct, I'm back at Harbor House, the scene of the crime that stole my voice and gave me a cough only life-long smokers dream of having. Also, the location without (much) internet accessibility. Nevertheless... a new group has arrived and yesterday we got through the prayer tour unscathed, and each of us (myself included) with a new perspective of the city. Ultimately this is the objective of the prayer tour- to take you on a behind the scenes look of the city that you are about to serve in. For me, this is my sixth (or so) prayer tour, and each time I'm finding it harder and harder to give. I know the stats, I know the locations, I know the neighborhoods, I've given the prayer tour so many times, and heard it even more. So for me it has kind of become old hat. But the truth is, God gave me fresh eyes last night; kind of like having a fresh, new group, besides the fact I've heard it tons of times, they haven't... and that's the point. I didn't hear any new information last night, I didn't have any huge revelations from God, but I was able to go into this prayer tour with a new mindset of understanding that this is their first time, they don't know if I forget something, they won't know if I say something too soon, too late, whatever... they just take what their told and experience it innocently- as being brand new.
Today we went to the San Francisco Food Bank... it was awesome. We were able to do so much stuff. We started by taking huge boxes of carrots and breaking them down into smaller boxes. This project started outside, but quickly was halted by the weather conditions that made our new group from Seattle feel very much at home. We then went inside to work on rice while they relocated our carrot endeavor to an empty project room. We rocked the rice. Then went on break. Then commenced with the carrotting. Then sang happy birthday to one of our project managers. Then worked on Capri Sun. It was so much fun, and such a great opportunity to see my group at work. They were great, and really worked with an attitude of service and spunk. They turned everything into a contest to see how many boxes of rice, or who could finish the big container of carrots first, and they did such mundane tasks as if they were doing it for the Lord... and guess what? They were...
The afternoon brought about a brand new activity that we've never done before called Future Friends. Each member of the group made two sack lunches and after we completed our work at SF Food Bank, we went to Golden Gate Park, found Sharon's Meadow and Hippie Hill and asked people if we could sit down and have lunch with them. I went with a group of three students, who were genuinely scared about having to approach strangers with a sack lunch and spend 1.5-2 hours talking to them, and we met some really cool people. They had some very bold opinions about a lot of things, but genuinely seemed to enjoy the company and allowed us to share not only our lunch, but shared a little of themselves with us too.
After we made our friends, we headed back to the Tenderloin and did a delivery route with POH. This is another great experience for groups to have because it opens their eyes to the realization of what many people of the Tenderloin call "home". After our route, we went to dinner... ETHIOPIAN!!!! (one of my favorites- it involves eating with our hands!!!!) And then we headed back to our housing site. This took longer than expected because someone gave the driver the wrong directions (Mandie) and so we ended up touring some interesting areas of Oakland. But during this "adventure" around Oakland, the driver started the students debriefing their day. He asked them what one word they would use to describe their day. It was a legitimate question, and the answers were really cool. "Interesting, Eye-Opening, Heart-breaking, Helpless, Freeing..." are some of the ones that really stuck out to me. I wonder how many times in a day we could describe our everyday life with one of these words. I'm sure there are several "heart-breaking" things that happen in a day, but do we bother to pay attention to them? Do we allow ourselves the opportunity to "debrief" our everyday lives? Life here isn't all poops and giggles. I have my blah days, my "uneventful" days. Some days just don't even seem worth "writing home" about. But why not? Why not value every day we're given? Who says you have to be working in a "ministry site" or a "church" or anything specific to be making a difference? You don't. I needed my world to be shaken up, and by golly it has been. I'm aware of more things that I ever could have dreamed or imagined, but when I look back at my "old life" in Indiana I had eventful things happen every (or almost every) day that I just glanced over. Took me dropping my life and moving to California to figure it out, but at least I did.
I found out that I'll be staying here in California for an extra week. I'm excited, sad, glad, nervous, anxious, giddy, etc... about this decision, but it's been made. I look forward to saying goodbye to a place that I never in a million years would have imagined that I would have ended up, but I also am looking forward to the things that God will choose to show me and teach me along the way.
Before I depart I have one question for you... In one word, how would you describe your day? I want to know.
Today we went to the San Francisco Food Bank... it was awesome. We were able to do so much stuff. We started by taking huge boxes of carrots and breaking them down into smaller boxes. This project started outside, but quickly was halted by the weather conditions that made our new group from Seattle feel very much at home. We then went inside to work on rice while they relocated our carrot endeavor to an empty project room. We rocked the rice. Then went on break. Then commenced with the carrotting. Then sang happy birthday to one of our project managers. Then worked on Capri Sun. It was so much fun, and such a great opportunity to see my group at work. They were great, and really worked with an attitude of service and spunk. They turned everything into a contest to see how many boxes of rice, or who could finish the big container of carrots first, and they did such mundane tasks as if they were doing it for the Lord... and guess what? They were...
The afternoon brought about a brand new activity that we've never done before called Future Friends. Each member of the group made two sack lunches and after we completed our work at SF Food Bank, we went to Golden Gate Park, found Sharon's Meadow and Hippie Hill and asked people if we could sit down and have lunch with them. I went with a group of three students, who were genuinely scared about having to approach strangers with a sack lunch and spend 1.5-2 hours talking to them, and we met some really cool people. They had some very bold opinions about a lot of things, but genuinely seemed to enjoy the company and allowed us to share not only our lunch, but shared a little of themselves with us too.
After we made our friends, we headed back to the Tenderloin and did a delivery route with POH. This is another great experience for groups to have because it opens their eyes to the realization of what many people of the Tenderloin call "home". After our route, we went to dinner... ETHIOPIAN!!!! (one of my favorites- it involves eating with our hands!!!!) And then we headed back to our housing site. This took longer than expected because someone gave the driver the wrong directions (Mandie) and so we ended up touring some interesting areas of Oakland. But during this "adventure" around Oakland, the driver started the students debriefing their day. He asked them what one word they would use to describe their day. It was a legitimate question, and the answers were really cool. "Interesting, Eye-Opening, Heart-breaking, Helpless, Freeing..." are some of the ones that really stuck out to me. I wonder how many times in a day we could describe our everyday life with one of these words. I'm sure there are several "heart-breaking" things that happen in a day, but do we bother to pay attention to them? Do we allow ourselves the opportunity to "debrief" our everyday lives? Life here isn't all poops and giggles. I have my blah days, my "uneventful" days. Some days just don't even seem worth "writing home" about. But why not? Why not value every day we're given? Who says you have to be working in a "ministry site" or a "church" or anything specific to be making a difference? You don't. I needed my world to be shaken up, and by golly it has been. I'm aware of more things that I ever could have dreamed or imagined, but when I look back at my "old life" in Indiana I had eventful things happen every (or almost every) day that I just glanced over. Took me dropping my life and moving to California to figure it out, but at least I did.
I found out that I'll be staying here in California for an extra week. I'm excited, sad, glad, nervous, anxious, giddy, etc... about this decision, but it's been made. I look forward to saying goodbye to a place that I never in a million years would have imagined that I would have ended up, but I also am looking forward to the things that God will choose to show me and teach me along the way.
Before I depart I have one question for you... In one word, how would you describe your day? I want to know.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Easter and Family
Today I've been thinking a lot about family. Easter had always been a celebration of life that has taken place with my family by my side. For as long as I can remember I've been packing up with my parents and going to my grandparents house to eat, play, and hang out with aunts, uncles, and cousins. Today will be the first time in forever that I am not able to spend time with my family. What this has also taught me is that family is so much more than flesh and blood. My family, though we're chosen at first are people that I choose to love and they choose to love me on a moment by moment basis. Family is also much broader to include people who may not share my name or my genes, but they are no less family. Family is offering me a place to stay when my lease runs out; family is inviting me over for pizza and a movie with your kids; family is a willingness to share your life with someone. Family is the church, and the church should be a family. Acts 2 states this very clearly. If I were to describe to you a group of people who ate together, worshipped together, shared everything, tell me that your first guess wouldn't be describing a family. The church is so much more than four walls and the word "church" in the title. That's the greatest lesson I've learned while on my California adventure. I have been called to serve and minister in God's church, but that may not translate to working in "a church". My family has taught me greater than anyone the idea of acceptance. Random people from my life have always been a part of "family gatherings". Pastors, friends, friends of family have always been invited to Easter, Christmas, Memorial Day- any time my family gets together there are more than just Marines there. And I love it. It's moments like this that I believe God rejoices and says, "They get it, they understand the true idea of the church." And I'm so glad that I have the privilege to be a part of it. My family has always been there for me and supported me, especially when something I wanted to do or felt called to do didn't make sense. They have always been there to offer advice, counsel, and a voice of reason, but in the end have always offered the support and love that is necessary for ministry to be successful. I thank you and love you for that.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Miss Thang
Dear Friends, I am in desperate need of prayer. Miss Mandie needs herself an attitude adjustment. I could offer tons of excuses as to why my sass meter is reading off the charts, but truth be told excuses are what I don't need right now. Pray that I would regain focus and have the attitude of a servant- since that's what I'm here to do.
Okay, now that I've gotten that off of my chest, here's what's been going on this week: Tuesday was kind of a hands off day for me. We went to St Vincent's Day Home and I took the morning off. I hung out in the break room and had some much needed Mandie-time. I checked in with the students (or rather, they checked in with me during their breaks) and we chatted about how things were going. The one thing that was in common with their stories was how easily and quickly these children form attachments. All it takes is for them to know that you are interested in them, and immediately you've made a lifelong friend. No questions asked, no judgments, just a need for acceptance. Maybe this is one of the things that Jesus meant when he said that we have to become like children. I've heard tons of interpretations of what that might mean, and all of them are very good and give me something to think about, so consider this just another one.
Tuesday afternoon we did a Project Open Hand food delivery route which I do enjoy in its own way. It's hands on and hands off for me at the same time. In my opinion this is one of the most eye-opening experiences that students have when they come. Almost everyone has at least seen someone who is homeless. On a street corner, on the side of the road; but very few of them have seen the living conditions that many people are forced to live in because it is their only option. These "SRO" hotel rooms are affordable- to some extent, but are practically unlivable. There are a couple of things that are mentioned during the prayer tour that really kind of shake me up when I think about them. Most of the SROs are in the Tenderloin area- including the ones that we deliver meals to for POH. "There are no single family homes in the Tenderloin; there are however 263 active liquor licenses". "The Tenderloin is home to about 30,000 people, including 3500 children". Yet they are forced to live in these SROs or one room apartments- so where do they play? They have no common area or living room, except for the lobby area in the hotel. Would you want to invite friends over to play there? Most of the parks in the TL are unsafe as well- some are even overrun by drug dealers. There is one in particular- "Boedekker Park" that is across the street from a Christian school, and catty-corner from a police station, but it too has become a haven for drug dealers. So where to kids play? On the streets- and yet this is the same place that other people, unsafe people, gangs, etc... are hanging out. It's just like I said, very eye-opening.
Wednesday we went to Med-Share in the morning and opened gloves again, continuing on from last week's group project. It's tedious, yet fun because we're doing it as a team, rocking out to 90's music, and having conversations getting to know each other better. It's a great team-building opportunity and it's even better because no one complained, everyone just worked together and got done what we could. We still didn't finish the project because it's a long process with pallets and pallets of gloves, but we made a dent and did our part, so in that respect it was rewarding.
In the afternoon, we went to Bay Area Rescue Mission and hung out with kids in their after school program "King's Club". My buddy Elisha was there and as soon as he realized I had arrived, he grabbed me by the hand and said, "you need to come help me with my homework". It was really cool to see what kind of a relationship has built up over the past few weeks. I've been there once a week for the past 4 weeks, always a different day, and yet as soon as he knows I'm there it's like no time has passed at all. It's great, and I love it.
Today we went and served meals at the St Vincent de Paul Dining Room. Today I was in the book area where we allow clients to come and pick up magazines or books to take with them. They are all donated and many of them were missing covers; this made it hard to help people who were looking for a specific kind of book (like cowboy books, or westerns), but all of the people who stopped by were very kind to me. One gentleman asked me if I was God's wife- to which I really didn't know how to respond. He said something about how I looked standing behind the counter like I was God's wife and no one could touch me while I was back there. Another woman told me how beautiful I was and that I had the eyes of an angel. They were both sweet and sounded sincere, and it was a gentle reminder that we all need encouragement- even in small ways.
In the afternoon the students did Meet a Need and passed out socks, deodorant, other hygiene items as well as had a little money to meet other needs they came across. One group even used a little of their own money to help buy shoes for a couple of people and meals for four people. It was encouraging to hear them tell me what they did with the money that was given to them- when they did I acted very shocked and asked them how they did all of that with $10.00. He looked at me and said that it was a little more than $10.00 but that he used some of his own money, and then proceeded to defend himself saying that I never said he couldn't use his own money for that. Which is kind of true, but it was mostly encouraging to hear a college student be so willing to open his wallet and provide for people in need.
It really has been a good week, and for the most part, I really do enjoy this group. Sometimes I have to be reminded that they are college students, and at times they really do play with those lines. But overall, they are here in the Bay Area to serve, and when asked to do something they practically run at the chance to do so. I just need to keep praying that God will continue to keep me focused on the positive things instead of me enhancing the frustrating moments.
Okay, now that I've gotten that off of my chest, here's what's been going on this week: Tuesday was kind of a hands off day for me. We went to St Vincent's Day Home and I took the morning off. I hung out in the break room and had some much needed Mandie-time. I checked in with the students (or rather, they checked in with me during their breaks) and we chatted about how things were going. The one thing that was in common with their stories was how easily and quickly these children form attachments. All it takes is for them to know that you are interested in them, and immediately you've made a lifelong friend. No questions asked, no judgments, just a need for acceptance. Maybe this is one of the things that Jesus meant when he said that we have to become like children. I've heard tons of interpretations of what that might mean, and all of them are very good and give me something to think about, so consider this just another one.
Tuesday afternoon we did a Project Open Hand food delivery route which I do enjoy in its own way. It's hands on and hands off for me at the same time. In my opinion this is one of the most eye-opening experiences that students have when they come. Almost everyone has at least seen someone who is homeless. On a street corner, on the side of the road; but very few of them have seen the living conditions that many people are forced to live in because it is their only option. These "SRO" hotel rooms are affordable- to some extent, but are practically unlivable. There are a couple of things that are mentioned during the prayer tour that really kind of shake me up when I think about them. Most of the SROs are in the Tenderloin area- including the ones that we deliver meals to for POH. "There are no single family homes in the Tenderloin; there are however 263 active liquor licenses". "The Tenderloin is home to about 30,000 people, including 3500 children". Yet they are forced to live in these SROs or one room apartments- so where do they play? They have no common area or living room, except for the lobby area in the hotel. Would you want to invite friends over to play there? Most of the parks in the TL are unsafe as well- some are even overrun by drug dealers. There is one in particular- "Boedekker Park" that is across the street from a Christian school, and catty-corner from a police station, but it too has become a haven for drug dealers. So where to kids play? On the streets- and yet this is the same place that other people, unsafe people, gangs, etc... are hanging out. It's just like I said, very eye-opening.
Wednesday we went to Med-Share in the morning and opened gloves again, continuing on from last week's group project. It's tedious, yet fun because we're doing it as a team, rocking out to 90's music, and having conversations getting to know each other better. It's a great team-building opportunity and it's even better because no one complained, everyone just worked together and got done what we could. We still didn't finish the project because it's a long process with pallets and pallets of gloves, but we made a dent and did our part, so in that respect it was rewarding.
In the afternoon, we went to Bay Area Rescue Mission and hung out with kids in their after school program "King's Club". My buddy Elisha was there and as soon as he realized I had arrived, he grabbed me by the hand and said, "you need to come help me with my homework". It was really cool to see what kind of a relationship has built up over the past few weeks. I've been there once a week for the past 4 weeks, always a different day, and yet as soon as he knows I'm there it's like no time has passed at all. It's great, and I love it.
Today we went and served meals at the St Vincent de Paul Dining Room. Today I was in the book area where we allow clients to come and pick up magazines or books to take with them. They are all donated and many of them were missing covers; this made it hard to help people who were looking for a specific kind of book (like cowboy books, or westerns), but all of the people who stopped by were very kind to me. One gentleman asked me if I was God's wife- to which I really didn't know how to respond. He said something about how I looked standing behind the counter like I was God's wife and no one could touch me while I was back there. Another woman told me how beautiful I was and that I had the eyes of an angel. They were both sweet and sounded sincere, and it was a gentle reminder that we all need encouragement- even in small ways.
In the afternoon the students did Meet a Need and passed out socks, deodorant, other hygiene items as well as had a little money to meet other needs they came across. One group even used a little of their own money to help buy shoes for a couple of people and meals for four people. It was encouraging to hear them tell me what they did with the money that was given to them- when they did I acted very shocked and asked them how they did all of that with $10.00. He looked at me and said that it was a little more than $10.00 but that he used some of his own money, and then proceeded to defend himself saying that I never said he couldn't use his own money for that. Which is kind of true, but it was mostly encouraging to hear a college student be so willing to open his wallet and provide for people in need.
It really has been a good week, and for the most part, I really do enjoy this group. Sometimes I have to be reminded that they are college students, and at times they really do play with those lines. But overall, they are here in the Bay Area to serve, and when asked to do something they practically run at the chance to do so. I just need to keep praying that God will continue to keep me focused on the positive things instead of me enhancing the frustrating moments.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
WoW
So far this week has been pretty cool. I have to tell you about this thing at the San Fran Food Bank that happened yesterday, but first: the back story... My first time at the Food Bank, my group and I were in the break room taking well a break, and we saw some guys eating cupcakes, so we asked them who's birthday it was. They told us it was Andy's birthday (our project coordinator). So when he came back into the room to check on us we asked him and wished him a happy birthday. His face turned really red and he looked at us and said, "it's not my birthday" and left the room. But the guys in the break room told us that he's just shy and that it really was his birthday, and that we should sing to him when he came back into the room to get us. So as soon as he came in we started singing to him and once again, his face turned really red, and the guys who gave us this information were dying laughing. Before he took us back into the project room I asked the guys what was so funny and it turns out it really wasn't his birthday, but all the guys in the warehouse have this ongoing joke where they try to embarrass each other by telling groups of volunteers it's different guy's birthday. So, now every time I go there with a group I ask the guys who's birthday it is.
Flash forward to Monday: I asked the guys who's birthday it was today, and they told me it was Joel's birthday at that it would be great if we could get the whole room to sing to him. There were probably about 30 or so volunteers in all, so I snuck to each table and told them that we were going to sing happy birthday to Joel. So we turned off the background music, and all started busting into happy birthday. His face turned so red and you could tell he was extremely embarrassed by the whole thing. One of the guys even took video of the whole ordeal on his phone. It was so much fun, and in a way I enjoy being a part of this silly little community of the people who work at the food bank- even if it is to give each other a hard time.
But isn't that in some ways what community is all about? Romans 12:15-16 says:
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
I've really come to live this verse out over the past few weeks. I've shed some tears over the death of grandparents. I've laughed with a group of guys who mess with each other at the food bank. I've shared meals with homeless, some of which didn't even share a common language with me. So why am I here? I've had to ask myself that a few times over the past few weeks. What good am I doing? There are over five to ten thousand homeless sleeping on the street every night- I can't house them. I can't feed them. I have nothing to offer them. And yet, I do. The stereotype of homeless is dirty, disgusting, ungrateful, grumpy, beggars. Maybe you agree or don't. But I'll be the first to admit that those are some of the things I thought about the homeless. Then I see a woman holding a sign that says "Anything you can do to help. Even a big smile." So I smile at her, and she smiles back. She didn't bang on the window, she didn't hold out her hand, she just smiled back. It felt genuine. Then there's the guy I encountered Sunday night during our little incident during the prayer tour. He admittedly told me that he was crazy, dropped a few expletives, and broke through the threshold of personal space by getting extremely close to me. But he warned me about all the people who were supposedly helping us with the information about the hit and run driver. He warned us to get out of this neighborhood, because the only reason those people were helping us was because they thought we'd give them money or in some way help to support their habit. And in some ways he was right. A woman no more than gave us information then held out her hand and asked for money for beer. Now I have to give her credit that she was honest- and I do understand that she has needs too. I won't touch the subject regarding her request because I just won't, but needless to say, it bummed one of my group members out because he thought the people who were surrounding the car with information genuinely saw him in need and wanted to help him, but instead they hoped to gain something from it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to judge their hearts, or make it sound like I know everything- just write this off as the ramblings of a person with a computer and the ability to type.
But isn't that so like us a humans? What's in it for me? I'll help you out, but I'm going to need something in return. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. What happened to community, to rejoicing with a person just because they have something to rejoice about, or mourning with someone because their heart is broken? What happened to the Acts 2 church? Selling all our possessions, giving to the poor and helping each other out? Some say this isn't realistic. That's old school. It can't be done. I say why not? I don't know how it would look... I really have no other dream than I want to see it lived out, but I don't know how to get there or anything. But it's such a big burden, and it won't go away. One thing that I've learned over the course of this California adventure is that it doesn't take much for most people to let you in. I spend about 5-6 days on average with a group, and before it's over we've shared heartfelt parts of our lives together. I watched a group of 7th and 8th graders sit around a man in the civic center park and just talk and laugh together. He was just as excited about them being around him as he was to have someone to joke and laugh and listen to him.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn..."
"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
Flash forward to Monday: I asked the guys who's birthday it was today, and they told me it was Joel's birthday at that it would be great if we could get the whole room to sing to him. There were probably about 30 or so volunteers in all, so I snuck to each table and told them that we were going to sing happy birthday to Joel. So we turned off the background music, and all started busting into happy birthday. His face turned so red and you could tell he was extremely embarrassed by the whole thing. One of the guys even took video of the whole ordeal on his phone. It was so much fun, and in a way I enjoy being a part of this silly little community of the people who work at the food bank- even if it is to give each other a hard time.
But isn't that in some ways what community is all about? Romans 12:15-16 says:
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
I've really come to live this verse out over the past few weeks. I've shed some tears over the death of grandparents. I've laughed with a group of guys who mess with each other at the food bank. I've shared meals with homeless, some of which didn't even share a common language with me. So why am I here? I've had to ask myself that a few times over the past few weeks. What good am I doing? There are over five to ten thousand homeless sleeping on the street every night- I can't house them. I can't feed them. I have nothing to offer them. And yet, I do. The stereotype of homeless is dirty, disgusting, ungrateful, grumpy, beggars. Maybe you agree or don't. But I'll be the first to admit that those are some of the things I thought about the homeless. Then I see a woman holding a sign that says "Anything you can do to help. Even a big smile." So I smile at her, and she smiles back. She didn't bang on the window, she didn't hold out her hand, she just smiled back. It felt genuine. Then there's the guy I encountered Sunday night during our little incident during the prayer tour. He admittedly told me that he was crazy, dropped a few expletives, and broke through the threshold of personal space by getting extremely close to me. But he warned me about all the people who were supposedly helping us with the information about the hit and run driver. He warned us to get out of this neighborhood, because the only reason those people were helping us was because they thought we'd give them money or in some way help to support their habit. And in some ways he was right. A woman no more than gave us information then held out her hand and asked for money for beer. Now I have to give her credit that she was honest- and I do understand that she has needs too. I won't touch the subject regarding her request because I just won't, but needless to say, it bummed one of my group members out because he thought the people who were surrounding the car with information genuinely saw him in need and wanted to help him, but instead they hoped to gain something from it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to judge their hearts, or make it sound like I know everything- just write this off as the ramblings of a person with a computer and the ability to type.
But isn't that so like us a humans? What's in it for me? I'll help you out, but I'm going to need something in return. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. What happened to community, to rejoicing with a person just because they have something to rejoice about, or mourning with someone because their heart is broken? What happened to the Acts 2 church? Selling all our possessions, giving to the poor and helping each other out? Some say this isn't realistic. That's old school. It can't be done. I say why not? I don't know how it would look... I really have no other dream than I want to see it lived out, but I don't know how to get there or anything. But it's such a big burden, and it won't go away. One thing that I've learned over the course of this California adventure is that it doesn't take much for most people to let you in. I spend about 5-6 days on average with a group, and before it's over we've shared heartfelt parts of our lives together. I watched a group of 7th and 8th graders sit around a man in the civic center park and just talk and laugh together. He was just as excited about them being around him as he was to have someone to joke and laugh and listen to him.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn..."
"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
Monday, March 29, 2010
Seriously...?!?!!?
So, yesterday we said goodbye to our junior high friends and I welcomed another group. I did however have time to do laundry in between, but that's about it. I like staying busy, but I miss the ability to just sit and be, and not have to "be" the host. It's okay though, I love my job and I really enjoy this work and the cool people I've had the opportunity to meet and hang out with. But the truth is, this job isn't meant to be a lifetime position. I can't make relationships within my community or at a church, because my only free time is Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings. I've enjoyed my time, and I'm really looking forward to what the next two weeks bring me. Today I get a bit of a break during the afternoon so I'm really looking forward to that "me time".
Yesterday, being the first day with my new group meant "Prayer Tour". This will be my 5th prayer tour, so for the most part I feel like I've got it pretty well under control, until.................................................................
I had to do a "walkie-talkie" prayer tour, as the college group I'm working with has two vehicles. So, we're towards the end of the prayer tour when I hear screeching tires and a crash. We look behind us only to see that the car that was following us had been rear-ended: and the guy who hit them was driving away. We immediately took down the license plate number and went into action to call the police and make sure everyone in the car was okay. The accident took place in the Tenderloin, which is not the safest place in SF to be, especially at night. Almost immediately the car is surrounded by people who were on the street who had witnessed the accident. They were all very nice and polite, and gave us all the information needed regarding the accident, then began begging for money to compensate for their resources. We then drove to the police station to file a report, and spent at least 45 minutes in there filling out paperwork and getting all the necessary information to the officer.
Needless to say, this kind of put an end to the PT, so we drove home and the leader led the debrief session.
Never a dull moment...
Yesterday, being the first day with my new group meant "Prayer Tour". This will be my 5th prayer tour, so for the most part I feel like I've got it pretty well under control, until.................................................................
I had to do a "walkie-talkie" prayer tour, as the college group I'm working with has two vehicles. So, we're towards the end of the prayer tour when I hear screeching tires and a crash. We look behind us only to see that the car that was following us had been rear-ended: and the guy who hit them was driving away. We immediately took down the license plate number and went into action to call the police and make sure everyone in the car was okay. The accident took place in the Tenderloin, which is not the safest place in SF to be, especially at night. Almost immediately the car is surrounded by people who were on the street who had witnessed the accident. They were all very nice and polite, and gave us all the information needed regarding the accident, then began begging for money to compensate for their resources. We then drove to the police station to file a report, and spent at least 45 minutes in there filling out paperwork and getting all the necessary information to the officer.
Needless to say, this kind of put an end to the PT, so we drove home and the leader led the debrief session.
Never a dull moment...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Long Week
So let me just say that this had been a really long week, but an awesome week. I said good by to my college group on Friday afternoon and met a group of energetic junior highers for the weekend. It's been a pretty non-stop weekend too. I had a little bit of a break during a city search that my group did yesterday. Another one of the city hosts also had a city search so she and I walked around the civic center and went to the mall to look around. I stopped by Hot Topic, but was a good girl and didn't buy anything. It just isn't the same unless I'm hanging out at the HT in Indy with my friends there.
A Flashback:
Sending last week's group off was really hard. It was amazing to me how quickly I formed bonds with that group. It was only a week, but they were a lot of fun and in some ways it was more like hanging out with friends than being at work. Thursday we went to the St. Vincent de Paul Dining Room to serve lunch for a few hours. We served over 800 meals. There were several people who went through the line multiple times, but overall we were able to serve quite a few people. We had a 15 minute break to eat our lunch and hang out with some of the people who were eating in the dining area. We left there and drove around for a bit looking for a place for some downtime between ministry sites. We found our way to the Palace of Fine Arts and walked around the pond, found a model, blah blah blah... =) It was a lot of fun roaming around the city (in a van) for about an hour with no real place to go.
Friday was their last day here, but they still had an activity in the morning. We did Meet a Need in the "Haight-Ashbury" district and they wanted me to go with them. Normally this would be some free time for me, but like I said, they wanted me to go, and being their last day, I wanted to hang out with them some more, so I did. We met some awesome people- including "Scottage Cheese" who told me about how he is homeless by choice, but that life on the streets is more about community and family than about being poor or destitute. It was a great experience, and I'm really glad I was able to be a part of it.
Sorry it took me so long to post again- I'm now back at my "normal" "temporary, permanent" housing so I'll have internet access and hopefully earlier nights than I did last week. Thanks again for all of your prayers and thoughts for me this week and always. For those of you who know about the decision I had to make last week, I accepted the position. There are still some unanswered questions, but I serve a God who provides and I know that this will be no exception.
A Flashback:
Sending last week's group off was really hard. It was amazing to me how quickly I formed bonds with that group. It was only a week, but they were a lot of fun and in some ways it was more like hanging out with friends than being at work. Thursday we went to the St. Vincent de Paul Dining Room to serve lunch for a few hours. We served over 800 meals. There were several people who went through the line multiple times, but overall we were able to serve quite a few people. We had a 15 minute break to eat our lunch and hang out with some of the people who were eating in the dining area. We left there and drove around for a bit looking for a place for some downtime between ministry sites. We found our way to the Palace of Fine Arts and walked around the pond, found a model, blah blah blah... =) It was a lot of fun roaming around the city (in a van) for about an hour with no real place to go.
Friday was their last day here, but they still had an activity in the morning. We did Meet a Need in the "Haight-Ashbury" district and they wanted me to go with them. Normally this would be some free time for me, but like I said, they wanted me to go, and being their last day, I wanted to hang out with them some more, so I did. We met some awesome people- including "Scottage Cheese" who told me about how he is homeless by choice, but that life on the streets is more about community and family than about being poor or destitute. It was a great experience, and I'm really glad I was able to be a part of it.
Sorry it took me so long to post again- I'm now back at my "normal" "temporary, permanent" housing so I'll have internet access and hopefully earlier nights than I did last week. Thanks again for all of your prayers and thoughts for me this week and always. For those of you who know about the decision I had to make last week, I accepted the position. There are still some unanswered questions, but I serve a God who provides and I know that this will be no exception.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Okay So Here It Is
Now that I have access to a real computer and am no longer in need of typing this on my phone I'll give you the whole skinny on this week. Like I said before, the group I'm currently working with arrived on Sunday. Now in order for me to explain what was last said regarding Satan, I'll start here: the group arrived 30 minutes early. Now, not that it and of itself is not Satan at work, but stick with me. The group pulled into the parking lot of the housing site before we did, which meant we didn't have time to get settled into our new location (I'm staying at Harbor House for the week, so I basically had to move out of my other site so I would have all I needed for this week). This kind of started things off on a stressful note. Then on top of that there was an issue with keys and getting into the building. Then one of my supervisors accidentally drove off with my keys. Then on the second night some random people were seen wandering around the building and apparently let themselves in downstairs (all this was caught by the leader of the group, at 11:30 at night)... none of these things alone are huge things, or even anything too bad, but it was a culmination of things combined with the frustrating week that I had just come off of; plus that's no way to start with a new group... but what it did remind me is that Satan is alive and well, and he doesn't always use huge things like drugs, sex and alcohol to cause us to stumble. Sometimes he uses a culmination of little things to push us to a point of allowing ourselves to lose control. Anyway:
My week has been amazing. And despite the fact that Satan is trying to announce his presence once again my God is bigger and in so much more control. He has helped me maintain my sanity, and helped me to tell Satan to shove off and that he's not wanted here. As I also stated before, this is a college group, which to be honest kind of scared me. I mean, yeah, I graduated from college almost 4 years ago (really, it's been that long, are you kidding me), but it really isn't that long, and I've never really worked with college students so I didn't know what I was to expect. But they're awesome. They are all here by choice, and each of them has a heart to serve... and they do. They kind of make a game out of it. When I ask someone to do something like clean up, or take out the trash, 3 or 4 people will volunteer, and then the others seem disappointed when I choose someone else. They've even said things like, "gee thanks, you just took away my opportunity to serve", and although it's said in a jovial manner, they never hesitate to serve. They never complain, they always build each other up... it's awesome. They're an inspiration to me.
Okay, so about our week... on Monday, we went to the San Fran Food Bank, and took 20lb bags of pasta, and made them into 1lb bags. I always love working at the food bank, because the work keeps us busy enough that time just flies, but at the same time, it is easy enough that we are able to talk and get to know each other. I bounced around from table to table, and job to job and it gave me the opportunity to talk with several of the members of my group. In the afternoon, the group had a City Search, which was awesome because it allowed me the opportunity to kind of have the afternoon off. The way City Search works is that the group splits into two smaller groups, and they each play a role (one group was a group of teen runaways, and the other group was an immigrant family) they then go out into an area of the Tenderloin, and talk to people, asking them some questions that have been provided for them. They are each given $2.00 for lunch, and they are encouraged to not only feed themselves lunch, but share with someone they meet. Half of the group pooled their money and bought fixings for sandwiches, and they opted to give all the food away, and not eat lunch at all. The other half of the group also bought stuff for sandwiches, but found other creative ways to use their money- like buying socks for a guy who needed them. The best part of this day for me, was hearing about their experiences. They talked about it with such joy and enthusiasm that I was kind of jealous I didn't get to be a part of it. But God knew that I could use a break, and laying on the grass at Golden Gate Park was awesome in its own way too.
Tuesday we went to Medshare, and this was the really mundane work I was telling you about. We literally took boxes of 50 gloves, opened the boxes, then took the gloves out of their plastic wrapping. It had to do with the fact that these gloves had expiration dates, but the truth is, they don't really expire, they just have to have a date because of US law. So anyway, we took them out of the wrappers and boxed them back up into 200s and they would be shipped off to developing countries who need gloves for exams and basic needs. It's really cool to see how Medshare is meeting a need that most people don't even realize exists. Then in the afternoon we went to the Bay Area Rescue Mission and played with kids- this place is always such a joy. To know that we are making a difference in the lives of children all by having fun and playing with them is awesome, and helps to prove that ministry doesn't have to be boring- it is what you make it.
To keep this from being any longer than it already is, I'm going to hold off on telling you about Wednesday and combine it with Thursday's activities. Thank you so much for all of your prayer and support. I love you all very much!
My week has been amazing. And despite the fact that Satan is trying to announce his presence once again my God is bigger and in so much more control. He has helped me maintain my sanity, and helped me to tell Satan to shove off and that he's not wanted here. As I also stated before, this is a college group, which to be honest kind of scared me. I mean, yeah, I graduated from college almost 4 years ago (really, it's been that long, are you kidding me), but it really isn't that long, and I've never really worked with college students so I didn't know what I was to expect. But they're awesome. They are all here by choice, and each of them has a heart to serve... and they do. They kind of make a game out of it. When I ask someone to do something like clean up, or take out the trash, 3 or 4 people will volunteer, and then the others seem disappointed when I choose someone else. They've even said things like, "gee thanks, you just took away my opportunity to serve", and although it's said in a jovial manner, they never hesitate to serve. They never complain, they always build each other up... it's awesome. They're an inspiration to me.
Okay, so about our week... on Monday, we went to the San Fran Food Bank, and took 20lb bags of pasta, and made them into 1lb bags. I always love working at the food bank, because the work keeps us busy enough that time just flies, but at the same time, it is easy enough that we are able to talk and get to know each other. I bounced around from table to table, and job to job and it gave me the opportunity to talk with several of the members of my group. In the afternoon, the group had a City Search, which was awesome because it allowed me the opportunity to kind of have the afternoon off. The way City Search works is that the group splits into two smaller groups, and they each play a role (one group was a group of teen runaways, and the other group was an immigrant family) they then go out into an area of the Tenderloin, and talk to people, asking them some questions that have been provided for them. They are each given $2.00 for lunch, and they are encouraged to not only feed themselves lunch, but share with someone they meet. Half of the group pooled their money and bought fixings for sandwiches, and they opted to give all the food away, and not eat lunch at all. The other half of the group also bought stuff for sandwiches, but found other creative ways to use their money- like buying socks for a guy who needed them. The best part of this day for me, was hearing about their experiences. They talked about it with such joy and enthusiasm that I was kind of jealous I didn't get to be a part of it. But God knew that I could use a break, and laying on the grass at Golden Gate Park was awesome in its own way too.
Tuesday we went to Medshare, and this was the really mundane work I was telling you about. We literally took boxes of 50 gloves, opened the boxes, then took the gloves out of their plastic wrapping. It had to do with the fact that these gloves had expiration dates, but the truth is, they don't really expire, they just have to have a date because of US law. So anyway, we took them out of the wrappers and boxed them back up into 200s and they would be shipped off to developing countries who need gloves for exams and basic needs. It's really cool to see how Medshare is meeting a need that most people don't even realize exists. Then in the afternoon we went to the Bay Area Rescue Mission and played with kids- this place is always such a joy. To know that we are making a difference in the lives of children all by having fun and playing with them is awesome, and helps to prove that ministry doesn't have to be boring- it is what you make it.
To keep this from being any longer than it already is, I'm going to hold off on telling you about Wednesday and combine it with Thursday's activities. Thank you so much for all of your prayer and support. I love you all very much!
Phone Bloggin- Part 2
So, I realize it's been a few days since my last post- sorry about that. I'm having so much fun. It's been such a great week. The group I've been working with since Sunday afternoon is amazing. They are a college group who have surrendered their spring break to serve in San Fran. This has been very evident in their attitudes and behaviors regarding service, especially to each other. It's one thing to go on a mission trip knowing that you're going to serve, but more often than not you don't take into consideration serving those you go on the trip with. They joke, have fun, but also know when to be more solemn and serious. No matter the location we're serving at they keep a posiive, upbeat attitude. Even the must mundane task like unwrapping gloves turned into something fun- even broke into song at one point.
They have been very accepting of me in the group, even making fun of me because of my squeaky, pre-pubescent sounding voice. Oh yeah, I lost my voice. =) Let's just say this was a much needed group after some of my difficulties. I have also been reminded that Satan is alive and well. But more on that later... Don't you love the suspense?
They have been very accepting of me in the group, even making fun of me because of my squeaky, pre-pubescent sounding voice. Oh yeah, I lost my voice. =) Let's just say this was a much needed group after some of my difficulties. I have also been reminded that Satan is alive and well. But more on that later... Don't you love the suspense?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
New Experiences
So today was just chock full of new experiences for me. We have practically the whole weekend off. We said goodbye to our newest friends early on Friday morning and are free until tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon, when we prepare for our next bundles of joy. We got a new roommate who will be joining us for the next two weeks to help us with our overflow of groups. This upcoming week will be a very full week with very limited access to much of anything. I will be staying at Harbor House (which is the site that doesn't have Internet- or our own living space or showers) which means next week will be very interesting blogging wise. That being said, the girls decided that it was time for me to try sushi- apparently it's just something that you have to do- like a rite of passage for California (or growing up), so anyway I did it. And the truth is, I didn't hate it, but everything was very slimy. I tried wasabi, 6 different kinds of sushi, and miso soup. Needless to say, that's an awful lot of "new" for one day.
Tomorrow we will be attending a different church (one that our associate director attends) so I look forward to this new experience.
There was something that just really stuck with me last week that I failed to share with my friends so I'd like to take the opportunity to do that now. At our last ministry site of the week we helped to clean up a construction site for a Christian school that is one of the many ministries that the rescue mission provides. This is an especially interesting project because it has been ongoing for about two years now- I don't know all the details of why it has taken so long, but that's what I was told. Anyway, we were on the third floor picking up scraps of material and sweeping up when I noticed some writing on the wooden beams framing the walls and ceiling. As I got closer I realized that someone or someones had written Bible verses on them. Things like Jeremiah 29:11- "for I know the plans I have for you... plans to give you a hope and a future..." or Proverbs 3:5- "trust in the Lord with all your heart...", but aside from the fact that verses were written people had also included names of what I can only assume are children or faculty of the school. "Maria, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". "Jacob, I know that plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." What an amazing testimony to Deuteronomy 6:9- "Write them on the door frames of your house..." They may not necessarily be written in plain sight, but to know that they are taking God's word and His promises to heart by claiming them as a foundation of this school that will be "training up children in the way they should go". So I would like to close my blog tonight in the same way:
"And we know, Bruce, that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
"Julie, train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
"In everything, John, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."
"Amy, the king is enthralled by your beauty..."
"Mandie, I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
"insert name here, those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
I may or may not have said this before, but I've been really convicted lately about claiming the promises of God. But the truth is, the promises of God are just like a lost winning lottery ticket... unless you know them, where they are, and claim them, they are useless. Why do men and women wear wedding rings, why did God write the ten commandments on tablets and give them to Moses, why bother writing down the word of God at all? They serve as symbols, reminders of the promises we make to each other, and that God made to us.
Tomorrow we will be attending a different church (one that our associate director attends) so I look forward to this new experience.
There was something that just really stuck with me last week that I failed to share with my friends so I'd like to take the opportunity to do that now. At our last ministry site of the week we helped to clean up a construction site for a Christian school that is one of the many ministries that the rescue mission provides. This is an especially interesting project because it has been ongoing for about two years now- I don't know all the details of why it has taken so long, but that's what I was told. Anyway, we were on the third floor picking up scraps of material and sweeping up when I noticed some writing on the wooden beams framing the walls and ceiling. As I got closer I realized that someone or someones had written Bible verses on them. Things like Jeremiah 29:11- "for I know the plans I have for you... plans to give you a hope and a future..." or Proverbs 3:5- "trust in the Lord with all your heart...", but aside from the fact that verses were written people had also included names of what I can only assume are children or faculty of the school. "Maria, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". "Jacob, I know that plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." What an amazing testimony to Deuteronomy 6:9- "Write them on the door frames of your house..." They may not necessarily be written in plain sight, but to know that they are taking God's word and His promises to heart by claiming them as a foundation of this school that will be "training up children in the way they should go". So I would like to close my blog tonight in the same way:
"And we know, Bruce, that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
"Julie, train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
"In everything, John, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."
"Amy, the king is enthralled by your beauty..."
"Mandie, I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
"insert name here, those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
I may or may not have said this before, but I've been really convicted lately about claiming the promises of God. But the truth is, the promises of God are just like a lost winning lottery ticket... unless you know them, where they are, and claim them, they are useless. Why do men and women wear wedding rings, why did God write the ten commandments on tablets and give them to Moses, why bother writing down the word of God at all? They serve as symbols, reminders of the promises we make to each other, and that God made to us.
Friday, March 19, 2010
I'm Back...
It's been a few days since my last post, so let me catch you up to date:
Wednesday we went and worked at a site called "MedShare". They package up extra medical supplies from hospitals and clinics and put them into boxes for doctors in developing countries to "order". Then they get donations from churches or other hospitals to cover the costs of the freight to ship the supplies. On this particular day we worked on separating different brands of sutures. From there we did an even more refined separating into expired/short dated/still good for awhile. Once they had been put into those three categories we separated them by size. Once they were organized by size we boxed them up; some boxes were assorted sizes, others were just one size. The group did a really good job of staying on task and getting things done efficiently and quickly. From MedShare we went to a beautiful park and had about an hour and a half to just relax, run around, play games, and eat our lunches. This also gave me the opportunity to take some time away from the group and sit by the water and enjoy God's beautiful creation.
Once we left the park we went to one of my favorite locations, the Bay Area Rescue Mission. I don't remember exactly what I told you about this site previously, but I love coming here because it is a very positive environment for kids to come and hang out after school. It's completely voluntary, but once you come you are expected to work on homework (or practice worksheets, if you don't have homework) and you are expected to attend Bible Study. This particular day the kids we worked with were especially rambunctious so it required a little more patience- when God wants to test patience, He sure does test the patience... =) But overall it was a great time, I got to work on homework with my little buddy from my last visit and even got to play some video games with him and his brother during free time. You can just see in these kids eyes that they are looking to be loved and wanted, and there at "BARM" they are; they're just like a little family.
Thursday (yesterday) we went to the San Francisco Rescue Mission- please note that this is completely different from the Bay Area Rescue Mission. The SF Rescue Mission was overall a different experience- positive in some ways, but negative in others. Long story short: we went to the wrong entrance and ended up doing construction work for about an hour before one of the pastors came and found our group and asked part of them to lead worship for a breakfast. I stayed with a couple of the students working in the construction area while the other part of the group lead the worship and one of the students even gave a message. From there my group ended up joining the rest to help clean up the area and set up for the afternoon Bible study- we ate our lunch in the area and then headed back over to the construction side to help them out more and also help the kitchen staff with dinner. Once we finished there, the group went back to the worship area to practice for worship before dinner. They ended up leading worship then the man who was scheduled to talk preached an awkward, uncomfortable, inappropriate sermon. After the inappropriate sermon we helped serve dinner and clean up- then we headed to eat dinner ourselves.
On the way to dinner I started a dialogue with the students about the sermon we had heard. Most of them felt like most of what he had to say wasn't necessarily wrong, but that it was completely inappropriate for the group of people he was talking to. The men and women in the service needed to hear about a loving God who will always take care of them, and that they have a hope and a future as promised by this same loving God. Instead they heard a soapbox speech from a man who had too much to say which included a misrepresentation of God's word. It was heartbreaking, and even the students felt frustrated by some of his content. I'm glad that out of this uncomfortable moment the students and I were able to bond over like-mindedness and understanding that what people really need to hear is about the love of God. Yes, that other stuff is important to know, but just like you don't try to teach a kindergartner trigonometry, you don't speak to baby Christians or lost people about things they won't understand until they understand the heart of God.
We saw our groups off early this morning (or not so early for my Indiana friends) and despite all of my frustrations and my broken spirit moments from the week- I grew to love and respect the students I had the privilege to lead. They are great young men and women who are going to go on to do great things for the kingdom. And I guess I look at it like this: if you don't care about something you aren't likely to get frustrated over things- my frustration was a sign that I care about these students and only want the best experience for them.
And now I'm going back to sleep- good night my friends. Love you all.
Wednesday we went and worked at a site called "MedShare". They package up extra medical supplies from hospitals and clinics and put them into boxes for doctors in developing countries to "order". Then they get donations from churches or other hospitals to cover the costs of the freight to ship the supplies. On this particular day we worked on separating different brands of sutures. From there we did an even more refined separating into expired/short dated/still good for awhile. Once they had been put into those three categories we separated them by size. Once they were organized by size we boxed them up; some boxes were assorted sizes, others were just one size. The group did a really good job of staying on task and getting things done efficiently and quickly. From MedShare we went to a beautiful park and had about an hour and a half to just relax, run around, play games, and eat our lunches. This also gave me the opportunity to take some time away from the group and sit by the water and enjoy God's beautiful creation.
Once we left the park we went to one of my favorite locations, the Bay Area Rescue Mission. I don't remember exactly what I told you about this site previously, but I love coming here because it is a very positive environment for kids to come and hang out after school. It's completely voluntary, but once you come you are expected to work on homework (or practice worksheets, if you don't have homework) and you are expected to attend Bible Study. This particular day the kids we worked with were especially rambunctious so it required a little more patience- when God wants to test patience, He sure does test the patience... =) But overall it was a great time, I got to work on homework with my little buddy from my last visit and even got to play some video games with him and his brother during free time. You can just see in these kids eyes that they are looking to be loved and wanted, and there at "BARM" they are; they're just like a little family.
Thursday (yesterday) we went to the San Francisco Rescue Mission- please note that this is completely different from the Bay Area Rescue Mission. The SF Rescue Mission was overall a different experience- positive in some ways, but negative in others. Long story short: we went to the wrong entrance and ended up doing construction work for about an hour before one of the pastors came and found our group and asked part of them to lead worship for a breakfast. I stayed with a couple of the students working in the construction area while the other part of the group lead the worship and one of the students even gave a message. From there my group ended up joining the rest to help clean up the area and set up for the afternoon Bible study- we ate our lunch in the area and then headed back over to the construction side to help them out more and also help the kitchen staff with dinner. Once we finished there, the group went back to the worship area to practice for worship before dinner. They ended up leading worship then the man who was scheduled to talk preached an awkward, uncomfortable, inappropriate sermon. After the inappropriate sermon we helped serve dinner and clean up- then we headed to eat dinner ourselves.
On the way to dinner I started a dialogue with the students about the sermon we had heard. Most of them felt like most of what he had to say wasn't necessarily wrong, but that it was completely inappropriate for the group of people he was talking to. The men and women in the service needed to hear about a loving God who will always take care of them, and that they have a hope and a future as promised by this same loving God. Instead they heard a soapbox speech from a man who had too much to say which included a misrepresentation of God's word. It was heartbreaking, and even the students felt frustrated by some of his content. I'm glad that out of this uncomfortable moment the students and I were able to bond over like-mindedness and understanding that what people really need to hear is about the love of God. Yes, that other stuff is important to know, but just like you don't try to teach a kindergartner trigonometry, you don't speak to baby Christians or lost people about things they won't understand until they understand the heart of God.
We saw our groups off early this morning (or not so early for my Indiana friends) and despite all of my frustrations and my broken spirit moments from the week- I grew to love and respect the students I had the privilege to lead. They are great young men and women who are going to go on to do great things for the kingdom. And I guess I look at it like this: if you don't care about something you aren't likely to get frustrated over things- my frustration was a sign that I care about these students and only want the best experience for them.
And now I'm going back to sleep- good night my friends. Love you all.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
*Sigh*
Today was not without its frustrations- as with most ministries (at least the ones dealing with people). If all my prayer warriors out there could pray for my heart and my attitude. It's easy to get caught up in the negatives and the frustrations of any and everything, but the truth is when it comes down to it, I want to be doing ministry and I can't imagine myself anywhere else right now. I love you all and thank you for your prayers. Good night.
Monday, March 15, 2010
...All The Time
So now we're finally getting into more of the swing of things... we welcomed our second group on Sunday afternoon and so far it has been a blast. We did the Prayer Tour on Sunday night (my second one to lead) and it was a success. If I haven't said it enough my prayer warriors rock!!!! This group is large enough that we split it into three groups, so each of the city hosts have their own group. We start each day together with breakfast, then the group does devotions together while the city hosts prepare for their day. Then we each depart into the worlds of San Fran and "Oaktown", depending on where our schedule has us serving. Today we went to a day care facility for children of working (or school attending) parents. The kids were so much fun to play with and you could tell that they really craved love and attention. This is one of the harder locations to really see how it fits into "urban ministry" because almost all of the kids are dressed to the nines and the school location is beautiful. But this is one of those "don't judge a book by its cover moments" as many of these children suffer from lack of attention from parents and love is purchased in a pair of Nike shoes or Baby Phat clothing. The parents buy their guilt away by providing things for their kids, when you can tell that they really just want to be wanted and want to know that someone has taken an interest in them.
After we left the day care site we found this beautiful park that sat on part of the bay looking into San Francisco. It was beautiful. It was peaceful. It was just what we needed to relax from the crazy, awesome chaos that was hanging out with the children. We just hung out on the picnic tables eating our lunch in a solemn quiet that was just the reprieve that we needed. From there we went to Project Open Hand and delivered hot meals, only this time the leader I was with suggested that we pray for each site as we left it. It really helped add something to the experience. What a concept, eh... making prayer a part of our experience and allowing God to be a part of what we are doing.
You know, I grew up in church and always knew the basics of being a Christian- the Sunday School answers of "pray, read your Bible, fellowship with other Christians", but if I learn nothing else from this trip (which I will, and already have) I've learned that we don't give God, or prayer enough credit. I know that there are many of you out there who are praying for me like crazy. I know that I haven't been forgotten because I can feel God wrapping his arms around me during the most opportune times and I know that it is a result of prayer. I've had several people tell me if I ever need something specific to be prayed for to let them know immediately- so I did. This morning I woke up and did not feel well at all, but I knew that with each of us city hosts having our own groups and each group having their own separate schedule that "calling in sick" was not a viable option. That, and I'm an adult, so I just had to suck it up and be involved anyway. So my immediate response was to contact several people who I knew would pray like crazy for me. And they did... I know they did because the message was no more than sent then I began to feel better and as the day progressed I felt more myself and was able to lead the group without focusing on what ailed me.
God is good...
After we left the day care site we found this beautiful park that sat on part of the bay looking into San Francisco. It was beautiful. It was peaceful. It was just what we needed to relax from the crazy, awesome chaos that was hanging out with the children. We just hung out on the picnic tables eating our lunch in a solemn quiet that was just the reprieve that we needed. From there we went to Project Open Hand and delivered hot meals, only this time the leader I was with suggested that we pray for each site as we left it. It really helped add something to the experience. What a concept, eh... making prayer a part of our experience and allowing God to be a part of what we are doing.
You know, I grew up in church and always knew the basics of being a Christian- the Sunday School answers of "pray, read your Bible, fellowship with other Christians", but if I learn nothing else from this trip (which I will, and already have) I've learned that we don't give God, or prayer enough credit. I know that there are many of you out there who are praying for me like crazy. I know that I haven't been forgotten because I can feel God wrapping his arms around me during the most opportune times and I know that it is a result of prayer. I've had several people tell me if I ever need something specific to be prayed for to let them know immediately- so I did. This morning I woke up and did not feel well at all, but I knew that with each of us city hosts having our own groups and each group having their own separate schedule that "calling in sick" was not a viable option. That, and I'm an adult, so I just had to suck it up and be involved anyway. So my immediate response was to contact several people who I knew would pray like crazy for me. And they did... I know they did because the message was no more than sent then I began to feel better and as the day progressed I felt more myself and was able to lead the group without focusing on what ailed me.
God is good...
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Oh Sweet Release
Today we bid farewell to our new friends. We saw them off early early this morning, and had the rest of the day off. I took this opportunity to catch up on much of the sleep that I didn't receive during their stay with us. Naps rock the house (in case you didn't know)!!! This day off also allowed me to catch up on some blogging as well as do some laundry... didn't really get to be a tourist this weekend, just a normal 25 year old. But that's okay, being a tourist gets old after awhile =). Tomorrow I have the morning off, will attend church and then prepare myself for the next group which is set to arrive some time tomorrow afternoon/evening- and so the cycle begins again. This will be my first full week group, so for as tired as I was today it will be twice as bad because they are staying a full week as opposed to a half a week. So, prayer warriors, your new mission... Mandie needs good rest for the little sleep I will likely receive as well as the energy and stamina necessary to keep up my Mandie-esque-ness (haha, my new favorite word... how self-centered am I) =)
I would also like to take this moment to say a huge thank you to all of you who are making this journey with me via this blog, I guess you could say that this is my way of debriefing my day/week, so I appreciate the fact that you have joined me in this endeavor. I also would like to say how grateful I am that you are praying for me and with me. I guarantee that without your support and love I would fail at this.
I would also like to take this moment to say a huge thank you to all of you who are making this journey with me via this blog, I guess you could say that this is my way of debriefing my day/week, so I appreciate the fact that you have joined me in this endeavor. I also would like to say how grateful I am that you are praying for me and with me. I guarantee that without your support and love I would fail at this.
Friday-March 12th
Yesterday was another crazy yet awesome day. The group we led went to the San Fran Food Bank, and we took plastic bins with about 1450 pounds of oranges and boxed them up to send out to the over 400 non-profit organizations that the food bank works with. Their motto is "Feeding the programs that feed the people". What a cool motto. Though we didn't directly work with the faces that this ministry site provides for, it was great to know that we were a part of a bigger picture. And this place does their best not to waste anything. Any oranges that the skin had split or that they had maybe seen better days were sorted and put into their own container which was going to be shipped to a pig farmer. They also recycled the cardboard from boxes or other things that couldn't be used. Though this isn't necessarily a "Christian organization" they are doing the best they can to be good stewards of what they have been given.
From the food bank we did two other activities in the afternoon which included "Meet a Need" and visiting a site called Project Open Hand. The city hosts didn't actively participate in Meed a Need, because this is an opportunity for the students to directly interact with those people they come into contact with. The group was given $20.00 with the idea that they need to talk to people on the street who look like they are in need and "meet their need" with the money they are given. This isn't necessarily food, it could be a blanket, or umbrella, or a sweatshirt- anything that they need that you can do for them with the $20.00. One of the other city hosts and I sat in a coffee shop and just hung out during this time while the group made their way up and down the street finding as many people as they can to help. The group we hosted decided to split themselves and the resources in half to cover more ground, and to look a little less overwhelming to the people they might meet. Surprisingly enough it's a lot harder than you might think. One group had a terrible time trying to find someone to help. They encountered a few people- one of which took off before they could even ask him if he needed help, and another guy started yelling at them, using profanity telling them he didn't want their charity. While this may seem ridiculous and for the girls in this group it frustrated and angered them, you have to try to understand from his perspective that he's probably trying to hold onto any dignity he still has. Or maybe he really didn't have a need and was offended that they asked- who knows.
Project Open Hand is a ministry that delivers hot meals to the homes of people primarily suffering from HIV/AIDS. We had the opportunity as hosts during training to do one of the routes ourselves earlier in the week, so this time we were able to step back and allow the group we were hosting to do this while giving them good direction of what to do. There are some people who get special meals (for certain dietary needs) and other little nuances that go into making sure everything is done correctly; this time also included delivering two frozen meals to cover them for the weekend. This was also an eye opening experience for many of the students to see the living conditions many of these people live in. We don't go inside their living space, but when they open the door to receive their meals you are able to see in a little and it is just sad what they are forced to live in. Most of the places we deliver to are SRO (single room occupancy) hotels, or small one room apartments. Many of buildings look in bad shape and they have a distinct odor that is less than pleasant. It's heartbreaking to know that not only are these people living with an incurable disease but they are also forced to live in a space that isn't even fit for most animals, but it's all they can afford so they make due.
The day consisted of many contrasts between a food bank that has so much food and stuff, verses people who have nothing or almost nothing. We also had the experience of working directly with the people that ministries like Project Open Hand serves as well as working with a place that is a part of the bigger picture. To look at the sharp contrasts in the day was very eye opening and I believe made a lasting impact on the students (as well as myself, and the other city hosts).
From the food bank we did two other activities in the afternoon which included "Meet a Need" and visiting a site called Project Open Hand. The city hosts didn't actively participate in Meed a Need, because this is an opportunity for the students to directly interact with those people they come into contact with. The group was given $20.00 with the idea that they need to talk to people on the street who look like they are in need and "meet their need" with the money they are given. This isn't necessarily food, it could be a blanket, or umbrella, or a sweatshirt- anything that they need that you can do for them with the $20.00. One of the other city hosts and I sat in a coffee shop and just hung out during this time while the group made their way up and down the street finding as many people as they can to help. The group we hosted decided to split themselves and the resources in half to cover more ground, and to look a little less overwhelming to the people they might meet. Surprisingly enough it's a lot harder than you might think. One group had a terrible time trying to find someone to help. They encountered a few people- one of which took off before they could even ask him if he needed help, and another guy started yelling at them, using profanity telling them he didn't want their charity. While this may seem ridiculous and for the girls in this group it frustrated and angered them, you have to try to understand from his perspective that he's probably trying to hold onto any dignity he still has. Or maybe he really didn't have a need and was offended that they asked- who knows.
Project Open Hand is a ministry that delivers hot meals to the homes of people primarily suffering from HIV/AIDS. We had the opportunity as hosts during training to do one of the routes ourselves earlier in the week, so this time we were able to step back and allow the group we were hosting to do this while giving them good direction of what to do. There are some people who get special meals (for certain dietary needs) and other little nuances that go into making sure everything is done correctly; this time also included delivering two frozen meals to cover them for the weekend. This was also an eye opening experience for many of the students to see the living conditions many of these people live in. We don't go inside their living space, but when they open the door to receive their meals you are able to see in a little and it is just sad what they are forced to live in. Most of the places we deliver to are SRO (single room occupancy) hotels, or small one room apartments. Many of buildings look in bad shape and they have a distinct odor that is less than pleasant. It's heartbreaking to know that not only are these people living with an incurable disease but they are also forced to live in a space that isn't even fit for most animals, but it's all they can afford so they make due.
The day consisted of many contrasts between a food bank that has so much food and stuff, verses people who have nothing or almost nothing. We also had the experience of working directly with the people that ministries like Project Open Hand serves as well as working with a place that is a part of the bigger picture. To look at the sharp contrasts in the day was very eye opening and I believe made a lasting impact on the students (as well as myself, and the other city hosts).
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Phone Blogging- Part One
Today was our first big day with the group. A big thanks to all my prayer warriors- Mandie's first prayer tour was given with great success!!! Today we went to our first ministry sites and we got there with little to no problems and arrived at sites on time! The first site was BACC (Bay Area Christian Connection) which is where my housing site is. We did some work on the basement which will serve as housing for our next group coming on Sunday. This project included cleaning the basement and clearing out the "junk" that the church has stored in the space. It was a huge lesson in need versus want and having an over abundance of stuff. And it wasn't all bad stuff to have, donated items including clothes, kitchen stuff, toys, decorations- but all it did was sit there, not in use, not being given away, just sitting. It really made me re-evaluate stuff. I moved to California for 5 weeks, and while I didn't bring everything I own (like my kitties), I brought what I needed- bare necessities. Outside of a few tokens like pictures and cards my life fit into two suitcases, so why do I still have an apartment full of stuff? Again, it's not all bad, I don't mean that at all, but it is worth thinking about.
After a morning of cleaning and packing, we ate a quick sack lunch by a fountain in a little area called, MOCHA, which is a museum of children's art. Then we headed to Bay Area Rescue Mission to volunteer with their after school kids program called "King's Club". I met a little boy named Elisha who was the most polite little boy I've ever met. He shook my hand, introduced himself to me and walked me through the video game he was playing. He sat next to me in Bible Study and talked to me through the whole thing. =) He made me miss all of the relationships I have back home, especially with my younger friends (like the Towne kids) but it also made me glad that God created me with a big enough heart to love them all.
We ate dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant and got to eat with our hands!!!! We ended the night at Fenton's Creamery and I had an ice cream sundae that was entirely too large. (PS- for those of you who have seen the movie "Up", Fenton's was the featured ice cream parlor that the little boy and old man sat in front of and ate ice cream and counted cars).
After a morning of cleaning and packing, we ate a quick sack lunch by a fountain in a little area called, MOCHA, which is a museum of children's art. Then we headed to Bay Area Rescue Mission to volunteer with their after school kids program called "King's Club". I met a little boy named Elisha who was the most polite little boy I've ever met. He shook my hand, introduced himself to me and walked me through the video game he was playing. He sat next to me in Bible Study and talked to me through the whole thing. =) He made me miss all of the relationships I have back home, especially with my younger friends (like the Towne kids) but it also made me glad that God created me with a big enough heart to love them all.
We ate dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant and got to eat with our hands!!!! We ended the night at Fenton's Creamery and I had an ice cream sundae that was entirely too large. (PS- for those of you who have seen the movie "Up", Fenton's was the featured ice cream parlor that the little boy and old man sat in front of and ate ice cream and counted cars).
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Yesterday, Today and Forever
Yesterday I had In-N-Out for lunch, but to be honest that was about the most exciting part of yesterday. So see, even here in California we have our blah days... =)
Today our first group arrives and the three of us will be "co-hosting". I am in charge of the prayer tour, so for those of my prayer warriors who might be reading this, please keep me in your prayers. The prayer tour helps to set the mood of the week and I want to make sure I do it justice and am able to give it with the boldness and power it deserves.
We had the morning off, so I went out walking with one of my roommates to see the sites of Oakland. There is a cute little outdoor mall where the number of food places far outweighs the amount of actual stores... what's that about? But getting out and walking around and enjoying the concrete jungle of Oakland was enjoyable. So far, today hasn't been anything too spectacular, but the excitement is to come tonight.
We don't have access to a computer at our housing spot through Saturday, but I may try to do some mini-blogging from my phone, we'll just have to see how that goes. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. I love you! Talk to you in a few.
Today our first group arrives and the three of us will be "co-hosting". I am in charge of the prayer tour, so for those of my prayer warriors who might be reading this, please keep me in your prayers. The prayer tour helps to set the mood of the week and I want to make sure I do it justice and am able to give it with the boldness and power it deserves.
We had the morning off, so I went out walking with one of my roommates to see the sites of Oakland. There is a cute little outdoor mall where the number of food places far outweighs the amount of actual stores... what's that about? But getting out and walking around and enjoying the concrete jungle of Oakland was enjoyable. So far, today hasn't been anything too spectacular, but the excitement is to come tonight.
We don't have access to a computer at our housing spot through Saturday, but I may try to do some mini-blogging from my phone, we'll just have to see how that goes. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. I love you! Talk to you in a few.
Monday, March 8, 2010
What the Sun, Wind, and the Golden Gate Bridge taught me about God's Love
Today was a very busy day which was much more active than the past few days have been. We started our day with devotions then headed out to San Fran to practice more directions and visit a few more of our ministry sites. After touring the outside of these locations we did what is called the "Golden Gate Bridge Walk", which at it's most basic form is a silent prayer walk from one side of the GG Bridge to the other. Now during this walk I really felt like God revealed Himself in a few powerful ways:
The first was a reference to Genesis 1 when it refers to the Spirit of God hovering over the waters. It was a bright, beautiful, windy day as we crossed the bridge and you could see the formations of the clouds "hovering over the water" and I really felt the presence of God in that moment. I thought to myself, God doesn't only speak to us through His word, but through all nature and created things; we really do ourselves a disservice when we shut down to the possibility of learning more about the character of God through everyday life. But then I also thought to myself, if I hadn't spent time in the word and known about that particular verse in Genesis then I also would have missed out on a great opportunity to see my God in action. It's a delicate balance, and such an amazing representation of a glimpse of who God is and His presence everywhere... even here with me in San Francisco.
The other thought came from the Aesop's Fable (I think) about the wind and the sun. The Mandie-ized version of the story is that two kids were walking through a mountain pass and the wind looked over to the sun and bet him that he could make the kids take their coats off- I don't remember what was at stake, but it was a monumental bet to be sure. So the sun took the bet, and the wind blew and shook as hard as he could and the two kids just clung even tighter to their coats to keep warm. When it was the sun's turn he shone brightly and beamed until the two children got so warm that they took their coats off. Now, my thought here is how many times do we as Christians blow and huff and puff and attempt to stuff our beliefs and "religion" down the world's throat, but all that does is make them want to hold tighter to whatever it is they've been holding onto. We need to beam with and shine the love of Christ to warm them into the kingdom.
That seems really ill formed and kind of lame now, but I wanted to share it with whoever may be "listening" out in blogger world.
The first was a reference to Genesis 1 when it refers to the Spirit of God hovering over the waters. It was a bright, beautiful, windy day as we crossed the bridge and you could see the formations of the clouds "hovering over the water" and I really felt the presence of God in that moment. I thought to myself, God doesn't only speak to us through His word, but through all nature and created things; we really do ourselves a disservice when we shut down to the possibility of learning more about the character of God through everyday life. But then I also thought to myself, if I hadn't spent time in the word and known about that particular verse in Genesis then I also would have missed out on a great opportunity to see my God in action. It's a delicate balance, and such an amazing representation of a glimpse of who God is and His presence everywhere... even here with me in San Francisco.
The other thought came from the Aesop's Fable (I think) about the wind and the sun. The Mandie-ized version of the story is that two kids were walking through a mountain pass and the wind looked over to the sun and bet him that he could make the kids take their coats off- I don't remember what was at stake, but it was a monumental bet to be sure. So the sun took the bet, and the wind blew and shook as hard as he could and the two kids just clung even tighter to their coats to keep warm. When it was the sun's turn he shone brightly and beamed until the two children got so warm that they took their coats off. Now, my thought here is how many times do we as Christians blow and huff and puff and attempt to stuff our beliefs and "religion" down the world's throat, but all that does is make them want to hold tighter to whatever it is they've been holding onto. We need to beam with and shine the love of Christ to warm them into the kingdom.
That seems really ill formed and kind of lame now, but I wanted to share it with whoever may be "listening" out in blogger world.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Church and Stuff
Today was quite an interesting day- I attended church at BACC (Bay Area Christian Connection), where we are currently housed. It was a very charismatic service and in many ways much different than what I'm used to. The scripture that the pastor spoke on was from Matthew 4:18-20:
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him.
There were a couple of things that the pastor pointed out that really resonated with me so I'd like to share them with you. The first thing that really stood out is Peter and Andrew's response to Jesus- at once or as the New Living Translation puts it immediately... that was their response, they didn't ask where they were going, or even what they would be doing, and at this point they probably new a little about Jesus, but based on Matthew's account, he scoops up Peter and Andrew right after his temptation in the desert, so Jesus' ministry really hasn't begun at this point, but nevertheless, Peter and Andrew immediately left their nets and followed him. There are so many other points that can be made, like the idea that they left their well being behind, etc... but the thing that was really brought to my attention was this idea that their only response was to do. Not once in this account do they go, "so, yeah, ummm, Jesus, where are we going?" "do you know how long this is going to take?" "what do I need to pack?" Nothing- they just go... I can only imagine if they had asked Jesus, "where are we going". In all of his infinite wisdom and Jesus-ness I can imagine him saying, "why? would it matter?"
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Today was my first official day off since starting training on Wednesday and it was a lot of fun. I spent most of the day with one of my roommates, and we went to Chinatown. Such a beautiful place, a lot of culture built into the buildings and lampposts and decor of the area. Also, tons of little tourists, like myself, scooping up the bargains and memorabilia to help capture those things which only our mind's eye view can really justify. So many people in such a small space, all concerned with getting their things and being on their way... did we really see each other? When I think of all the things that break God's heart, I wonder if that isn't one of them. Did you know that San Fran is approximately 49 square miles (within the city limits) and Oakland is 78.2 square miles? Guess which one has the most people? San Fran has over 800,000 people, and Oakland has just under 400,000. San Fran is almost half the size of Oakland, but has over twice as many people living in it. Did you also know that there are 5-10 thousand homeless living in San Fran alone? This isn't meant to be preachy or soapboxy, but I just wonder how many times these people go unnoticed. Not even just the homeless, how many times do the people of the world brush shoulders, commute to work, walk the streets and go unnoticed by their fellow inhabitants of the world? Challenge: look around you, they don't have to be your best friend, you don't even have to talk to them, just notice the people around you, acknowledge that they are not just people taking up space in our cosmic little universe. They are children of God, just like you.
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him.
There were a couple of things that the pastor pointed out that really resonated with me so I'd like to share them with you. The first thing that really stood out is Peter and Andrew's response to Jesus- at once or as the New Living Translation puts it immediately... that was their response, they didn't ask where they were going, or even what they would be doing, and at this point they probably new a little about Jesus, but based on Matthew's account, he scoops up Peter and Andrew right after his temptation in the desert, so Jesus' ministry really hasn't begun at this point, but nevertheless, Peter and Andrew immediately left their nets and followed him. There are so many other points that can be made, like the idea that they left their well being behind, etc... but the thing that was really brought to my attention was this idea that their only response was to do. Not once in this account do they go, "so, yeah, ummm, Jesus, where are we going?" "do you know how long this is going to take?" "what do I need to pack?" Nothing- they just go... I can only imagine if they had asked Jesus, "where are we going". In all of his infinite wisdom and Jesus-ness I can imagine him saying, "why? would it matter?"
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Today was my first official day off since starting training on Wednesday and it was a lot of fun. I spent most of the day with one of my roommates, and we went to Chinatown. Such a beautiful place, a lot of culture built into the buildings and lampposts and decor of the area. Also, tons of little tourists, like myself, scooping up the bargains and memorabilia to help capture those things which only our mind's eye view can really justify. So many people in such a small space, all concerned with getting their things and being on their way... did we really see each other? When I think of all the things that break God's heart, I wonder if that isn't one of them. Did you know that San Fran is approximately 49 square miles (within the city limits) and Oakland is 78.2 square miles? Guess which one has the most people? San Fran has over 800,000 people, and Oakland has just under 400,000. San Fran is almost half the size of Oakland, but has over twice as many people living in it. Did you also know that there are 5-10 thousand homeless living in San Fran alone? This isn't meant to be preachy or soapboxy, but I just wonder how many times these people go unnoticed. Not even just the homeless, how many times do the people of the world brush shoulders, commute to work, walk the streets and go unnoticed by their fellow inhabitants of the world? Challenge: look around you, they don't have to be your best friend, you don't even have to talk to them, just notice the people around you, acknowledge that they are not just people taking up space in our cosmic little universe. They are children of God, just like you.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Out on the Town
Today was a little more active in the city and less of the sitting in the "apartment" listening to lectures. We were in charge of giving directions to the drivers (how proud are you of me, dad!?!?) and guiding them from ministry site to ministry site. Upon arrival at each of the sites we would be framed for what work each of the ministry sites performs.
Later on in the day we had lunch at the park by Lake Merritt on the steps of a gazebo, and there was an interesting encounter with a seagull, but more on that at another time. What really captivated me today was regarding our practice for something we do called, "The Prayer Tour". This consists of driving around downtown San Fran pointing out statistics or different facts about certain areas and streets to help bring some perspective on what goes on in the city; we also strongly encourage our groups to be in constant prayer for these different things. After this practice we were having our "debriefing" within the group where we process and internalize some of the things we saw and experienced during the day. The question was posed: What would you do if you found out you had to move here? How would this affect your future decisions, including raising a family here?
Now, at this time I must provide a little disclaimer. Those of you who know me, or are a part of my church family know that I came to California by choice. (those of you who don't know the story, hit me up later and I'll give you the rundown) But when faced with this idea of moving here, permanently, raising a family, etc... I had to be honest and say I wouldn't do it. There's part of me that knew if God was really calling me to it that I know in my heart He would give me the strength to overcome the fear, but all in all as my decision I would say no. That being said, my mind wandered to this idea of fear- what exactly am I afraid of... am I afraid of failing? Not really... am I afraid of my safety? Kind of, there are some kind of scary places, but when I look down to it, I'm afraid of the unknown... "well, if I had to move here, where would I live? what would I do for work, or income? I don't have any connections or friends or family here, I'd be all alone..." just a few of the many thoughts racing through my head in those moments. Then I just had to take a step back and go, you know what- God brought me here amidst several trials, and He worked it out in such a way that all of the pieces fell together perfectly. It may not make sense, and it may be mildly terrifying, but the truth is, I serve a God who is in control- not because He is a controlling God who rules me with an iron fist... no, He's in control because I let Him have control. That is what I have to stay focused on and keep reminding myself.
Later on in the day we had lunch at the park by Lake Merritt on the steps of a gazebo, and there was an interesting encounter with a seagull, but more on that at another time. What really captivated me today was regarding our practice for something we do called, "The Prayer Tour". This consists of driving around downtown San Fran pointing out statistics or different facts about certain areas and streets to help bring some perspective on what goes on in the city; we also strongly encourage our groups to be in constant prayer for these different things. After this practice we were having our "debriefing" within the group where we process and internalize some of the things we saw and experienced during the day. The question was posed: What would you do if you found out you had to move here? How would this affect your future decisions, including raising a family here?
Now, at this time I must provide a little disclaimer. Those of you who know me, or are a part of my church family know that I came to California by choice. (those of you who don't know the story, hit me up later and I'll give you the rundown) But when faced with this idea of moving here, permanently, raising a family, etc... I had to be honest and say I wouldn't do it. There's part of me that knew if God was really calling me to it that I know in my heart He would give me the strength to overcome the fear, but all in all as my decision I would say no. That being said, my mind wandered to this idea of fear- what exactly am I afraid of... am I afraid of failing? Not really... am I afraid of my safety? Kind of, there are some kind of scary places, but when I look down to it, I'm afraid of the unknown... "well, if I had to move here, where would I live? what would I do for work, or income? I don't have any connections or friends or family here, I'd be all alone..." just a few of the many thoughts racing through my head in those moments. Then I just had to take a step back and go, you know what- God brought me here amidst several trials, and He worked it out in such a way that all of the pieces fell together perfectly. It may not make sense, and it may be mildly terrifying, but the truth is, I serve a God who is in control- not because He is a controlling God who rules me with an iron fist... no, He's in control because I let Him have control. That is what I have to stay focused on and keep reminding myself.
Training Training Training
So, in a lot of ways I feel like I'm back in college again- living in a "dorm-style" room with bunk beds and roommates, and yesterday I had the "pleasure" of sitting through several classes. It actually wasn't that bad. It was a lot more personal than college lecture classes, and obviously the class size was a lot smaller. I am currently in my living situation with two girls- and I'm the "old fart" of the group, by a whopping two years. The youngest is "R" at 19, and "A" is 23. They are a lot of fun, and in some ways we're similar and different (obviously- haha). We are all "introverts with extroverted tendencies", we all handle conflict in similar ways and we are all in a transition in our lives in which we are seeking God's will.
Yesterday was cool, because we did get a chance to get to know each other better. We talked about conflict resolution and how we deal with conflict, we also had the opportunity to share our stories and how we ended up here at CSM. Then last night I was a big girl and stayed up until 11:00PM, which was a big jump from 8:30 and 9:00 like the previous two nights. I'm still waking up at about 4AM, which is not fun, but I think I'm slowing transitioning to this Pacific Time.
Another experience that I was able to have yesterday was going to a farmer's market. An entire block was blocked off and various vendors set up tents and booths selling their different products. I bought a two pound bag of kiwi for a whopping $1.50!!!! Back home I'm lucky if I can get 4 kiwi for a dollar. (My mom would be so proud!) It was also really cool to see the different ethnic backgrounds of the vendors as displayed in their products. There was an Argentinian bakery, a Mexican booth selling tamales, and then tons of fresh produce stands including everything from Asian Yams to my awesome kiwi!
For the most part yesterday consisted of sitting and listening to the logistics of city hosting, but I ended my night hanging out with my cool new roommates putting out hits on one another and killing each others mobsters... all in all a great night.
Yesterday was cool, because we did get a chance to get to know each other better. We talked about conflict resolution and how we deal with conflict, we also had the opportunity to share our stories and how we ended up here at CSM. Then last night I was a big girl and stayed up until 11:00PM, which was a big jump from 8:30 and 9:00 like the previous two nights. I'm still waking up at about 4AM, which is not fun, but I think I'm slowing transitioning to this Pacific Time.
Another experience that I was able to have yesterday was going to a farmer's market. An entire block was blocked off and various vendors set up tents and booths selling their different products. I bought a two pound bag of kiwi for a whopping $1.50!!!! Back home I'm lucky if I can get 4 kiwi for a dollar. (My mom would be so proud!) It was also really cool to see the different ethnic backgrounds of the vendors as displayed in their products. There was an Argentinian bakery, a Mexican booth selling tamales, and then tons of fresh produce stands including everything from Asian Yams to my awesome kiwi!
For the most part yesterday consisted of sitting and listening to the logistics of city hosting, but I ended my night hanging out with my cool new roommates putting out hits on one another and killing each others mobsters... all in all a great night.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 1.5
Hello, friends,
Here's my first attempt at blogging, so offer a little grace when reading this-
Today was my first official day of training, yesterday consisted of getting settled in my new digs, and getting a brief orientation to what exactly I'll be doing for the next 5 (or so) weeks. This morning consisted of logistical paperwork, then my two partners in ministry and I went out for a city expedition in which we took on the persona of a homeless immigrant family. We met a few interesting people, shared lunch with a new friend in the park, and "joined" a protest against bio-sludge in compost- it was quite the experience.
We ended our day with a prayer tour of downtown San Francisco- including Chinatown, Little Italy, the financial district and Coit Tower. The view from Coit Tower was amazing and a great reminder of how small I really am in this big city. Being from a "smaller" more suburban community it's easy to take for granted just how big the world can be- it was a nice friendly reminder that life really is just about more than me.
All in all it was a good experience, just hoping and praying that God will give me the strength I need to do His work in the cities of Oakland and San Fran.
Until we meet again...
Here's my first attempt at blogging, so offer a little grace when reading this-
Today was my first official day of training, yesterday consisted of getting settled in my new digs, and getting a brief orientation to what exactly I'll be doing for the next 5 (or so) weeks. This morning consisted of logistical paperwork, then my two partners in ministry and I went out for a city expedition in which we took on the persona of a homeless immigrant family. We met a few interesting people, shared lunch with a new friend in the park, and "joined" a protest against bio-sludge in compost- it was quite the experience.
We ended our day with a prayer tour of downtown San Francisco- including Chinatown, Little Italy, the financial district and Coit Tower. The view from Coit Tower was amazing and a great reminder of how small I really am in this big city. Being from a "smaller" more suburban community it's easy to take for granted just how big the world can be- it was a nice friendly reminder that life really is just about more than me.
All in all it was a good experience, just hoping and praying that God will give me the strength I need to do His work in the cities of Oakland and San Fran.
Until we meet again...
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