Out on the Town

Today was a little more active in the city and less of the sitting in the "apartment" listening to lectures. We were in charge of giving directions to the drivers (how proud are you of me, dad!?!?) and guiding them from ministry site to ministry site. Upon arrival at each of the sites we would be framed for what work each of the ministry sites performs.


Later on in the day we had lunch at the park by Lake Merritt on the steps of a gazebo, and there was an interesting encounter with a seagull, but more on that at another time. What really captivated me today was regarding our practice for something we do called, "The Prayer Tour". This consists of driving around downtown San Fran pointing out statistics or different facts about certain areas and streets to help bring some perspective on what goes on in the city; we also strongly encourage our groups to be in constant prayer for these different things. After this practice we were having our "debriefing" within the group where we process and internalize some of the things we saw and experienced during the day. The question was posed: What would you do if you found out you had to move here? How would this affect your future decisions, including raising a family here?


Now, at this time I must provide a little disclaimer. Those of you who know me, or are a part of my church family know that I came to California by choice. (those of you who don't know the story, hit me up later and I'll give you the rundown) But when faced with this idea of moving here, permanently, raising a family, etc... I had to be honest and say I wouldn't do it. There's part of me that knew if God was really calling me to it that I know in my heart He would give me the strength to overcome the fear, but all in all as my decision I would say no. That being said, my mind wandered to this idea of fear- what exactly am I afraid of... am I afraid of failing? Not really... am I afraid of my safety? Kind of, there are some kind of scary places, but when I look down to it, I'm afraid of the unknown... "well, if I had to move here, where would I live? what would I do for work, or income? I don't have any connections or friends or family here, I'd be all alone..." just a few of the many thoughts racing through my head in those moments. Then I just had to take a step back and go, you know what- God brought me here amidst several trials, and He worked it out in such a way that all of the pieces fell together perfectly. It may not make sense, and it may be mildly terrifying, but the truth is, I serve a God who is in control- not because He is a controlling God who rules me with an iron fist... no, He's in control because I let Him have control. That is what I have to stay focused on and keep reminding myself.