A Divine Appointment At McDonald's

So, this blog is coming a couple of days too late, but it's been a super long week, and this is my first moment of some solitude to be able to put these thoughts down... so here you go:

On Wednesday my group did Meet A Need on Haight Street. Normally this is an activity that I do not participate in, so per usual I just roamed around trying to kill some time. About an hour into our 2.5 hour activity, two of the guys who were in their own group came up to me on the street and told me that they were done. They had met someone, talked to him for about an hour, and met his need of a meal, and spent all but 14 cents of their money. So, we were just hanging out at the corner of Haight and Stanyan on a bench across from a McDonald's. after sitting there for about a half an hour, I told them that we were going to McDonald's. Truth is, I don't know why (well, now I do) and I don't even like McDonald's, but I didn't want to sit out on the street anymore, and I figured we could do something productive in there anyway. So, we found a table, and the three of us were just sitting, chatting... me asking questions, them answering; when all of a sudden...

A man came up to our table asking for some money to buy food. Now here is where I slipped up a little... first of all, one of our rules to the students during orientation is "DON'T GIVE MONEY TO PEOPLE!!!!!" If they seem in need direct them to an organization or help them in some other way, but under no circumstances do you give them money... BAM- Fail... I pulled two dollars out of my pocket and handed it to him. What's worse and sort of embarrassing about this is that I did exactly what we encourage people not to do- throw money and people and run. BAM- Fail... that's exactly what I did... gave him the money and let him be on his way. Didn't get his name, didn't get his story, didn't find out more about what he really needed, just gave him the money and let him walk away. I should of felt good, I mean, I gave the guy money, helped him out, whatever... but what a HORRIBLE example I was to these two students I was trying to minister to.

During the course of my conversation with the students, after the exchange between the gentleman and myself, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that he was sitting at the table a little ways away from us eating some food. Now I'll be honest, I'm ashamed to say that I was kind of relieved that he used the money I gave him to buy food and not drugs or alcohol or something like that... And what's that about!?!?!?!? At what point in my life did I become so cynical about people in need? I've spent the past six weeks working on the streets, with ministry organizations that give people the benefit of the doubt... I mean, good grief! Isn't that what Jesus did? He challenged them and their thinking, yes, but never once did he come to condemn them... ugh... anyway... (The story gets better, I promise)

After I notice that this gentleman is sitting so close to us, and since there was a lull in the conversation I get up and go sit at the table with the gentleman and just start talking to him. I asked him how he was doing, and he said that he was still a little hungry, but otherwise okay. So, I got up, went to the counter, and bought him two more hamburgers and a bottle of water. I also found out that he's diabetic, because I asked him if he liked cookies and he told me he couldn't have them. (It's amazing what a conversation with someone will teach you...) So, I got the food, brought it back to the table, and while he ate, we talked. His name is Michael. He was born and raised in West Oakland, but has lived all over the country. He is currently in a 12 step program, been sober for a little while now (gave him a high five for that one). He's 54, never been married, no kids, has cousins and friends living in the Haight-Ashbury District, but he hasn't seen them in about 15-20 years. Was excited to hear that I was from Indiana, apparently the whole Jackson family is from there... (didn't know that!). As he ate, I could sense that conversation is what he longed for. At what point do we reach a sense of humility that we are willing to ask people for help?

We do another activity where students are given two dollars each and told to go find food for lunch for themselves and one other person. The students are in groups of 4-5 so they will pool their money, buy stuff for sandwiches and do lunch that way because it's the most cost effective and will feed the whole group and then some. But I've heard story after story about them coming up just short of what they wanted to buy, but instead of having to put something back, or make a different choice, they are shown grace by the people at the markets and they let them have it anyway. And every response has been that it's so humbling to know that you have the money but don't have access to it, so you have to accept charity from someone. Do you know what charity means? "generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless" every definition I come across implies need of some sort. And to admit that you are in need of something, be it money, housing, food, clothing, help paying bills, a hug, a friend, whatever is a hugely humbling experience. So most of us don't do it. I admire those who can, but I know that for me, to get to a place where I ask for help is a very low place for me. But the truth is, I do need help. I can't live life on my own, and heaven knows I don't want to... anyway...

My story ends with two other students from my group coming and joining my conversation with Michael. We closed our time together and I asked him if there was anything I could pray for him about. He asked that we pray for high spirits for him. Wow... what a request. High spirits. I love it! So we did... before we left the table I asked him if there was anything else he needed. He said he didn't have enough money to get home. I asked him how much bus fare or a BART ticket would be and he said about 3-4 bucks. So I pulled out my "change sock" and gave him all the change I had (way to go, Mandie... broke the rules again). But if I've learned anything from Jesus, it's that "rules" never got in the way of loving his neighbor, or enemy, or friend, he just did it, whatever means necessary. I learned humility from a man named Michael, and a savior named Jesus... and it was the greatest moment from my California Adventure.